 junior got his first job at woolworths after school sis had a new boy friend who had never been in jail even once to celebrate we went on a picnic and invited grandpa and grandma and uncle fred and aunt annabelle grandpa and grandma were hard to tell apart and often spoke in unison mom thought it was sweet i thought it was weird so did sis and her boy friend mom made egg salad sandwiches and tuna salad sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies they were pretty good aunt annabelle brought a lemon pie uncle fred brought cigars but dad didn't want one so he gave two to grandpa dad made some pitiful jokes about ants at picnics but there weren't any ants no beer? these were the last words from sis' new boy friend junior wandered off by himself i brought my new portable tv grandpa and grandma were impressed we watched the news khruschev was marrying sophia loren that's funny said grandpa and grandma together we didn't know khruschev was marrying sophia loren it's my new invention i told them it's called programming this all happened fifty years ago mom and dad, grandpa and grandma, aunt fred and aunt annabelle, and sis and junior are all dead now and i never got a dime for my invention but i'm not bitter i'm just happy to be alive |
Saturday, June 20, 2009
picnic
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7 comments:
Usually those kind of reunions are remembered by the absourd or weird habits of our family members.
lets face it we are all weird, all of us have our own particualar wierdness stored inside.
What I do not get is why did everybody died but you?Whas it cause you brought the tv and knew how to handle it in order to avoid your own death, I guess we are referring mostly to a brain death (Which has practically no differences with the other one).
I really like your literary stile!
Usually those kind of reunions are remembered by the absourd or weird habits of our family members.
lets face it we are all weird, all of us have our own particualar wierdness stored inside.
What I do not get is why did everybody died but you?Whas it cause you brought the tv and knew how to handle it in order to avoid your own death, I guess we are referring mostly to a brain death (Which has practically no differences with the other one).
I really like your literary stile!
hi mariana,
thank you very much.
note the reference to khruschev and sophia loren. this is (supposed to but maybe not successfully) indicate that the events happened about 50 years ago - so they just died off - the narrator is a geeky little kid at the time younger than the others
Thanks for your explanation, evidently I misunderstood you, not I could appreciate what you meant.
mariana -
the poem was not clear enough - my fault
after consulting with my spiritual and artistic advisers i have inserted the line "this all happened fifty years ago" to make it clearer
thank you for all your comments! i really appreciate them
the atomsphere created here is really impressive;
all together but no 'oneness'...
and can the snoopy crow say something?
i read this in my Reader the other day without the added line... i found it perfect...
the line you added feels a bit repetitive... as we discern from the news that this happened a long time ago... and it's normal not to find most of them alive now...
and when we come to junior there might be a small pause... triggering a story in our mind... why did he die too?
and i liked this ambiguity...
even we can conclude that they are dead metaphorically... the persona no longer needs their opinions...
this came to my mind reading dear Mariana's comment... i love the way she always scrutinizes... creating new thoughts...
:)
hb,
thanks as always for all your comments. your comment about the "reader" seems to indicate that sometimes you can read posts but not comment?
i don't know if things can ever get "back to normal" ... or if that means anything ... hopefully you can at least continue to get through on your own blog and elsewhere... good luck and best wishes always
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