memoir

i sat on the wall at midnight watching the tide the black waves rolled and swelled without a trace of foam the rain began to fall like bullets one drop, two drops then a million i was never so alone and never so happy and what i now tremble before i faced without fear

neighbor

mister wagner in his buttoned sweater at dusk watering the lawn i remember he had a little mustache and a receding hairline but he probably didn't he was old and strange and could have been any age between twenty-five and eighty-five i watched him unsuspected from my own shadows and his wife came out on the porch herself a shadow in the twilight and said hurry up it's almost time for star trek

variations

for nooshin azadi three leaned over the rail two fell in one drowned one ran for help one was arrested one washed ashore one swam two sank three walked away one leaned over the rail two fell in three drowned three laughed three cheered three swam away one ran for help two reported her three arrested her three judges two jurors one jailer one sky one sun one cloud one river one boat three leaned over the rail

do

i'm sorry, ms sinclair there's no need to apologize, joey i was just doing what i do i understand it's what i do yes i have no choice of course i do what i do the doingness of the done the thing itself to do the thing that is imperative the imperative itself i told you i understand have you called the police? of course why else would i have handcuffed you? well to keep me from doing what i do no i called the police i had no choice i understand but you understand in turn the imperative doingness of what i do the done thing itself yes i think i hear the police outside now

tape

i'm sorry i didn't mean it but you said i know i said but i didn't mean it but you said i have it recorded right here you said it i know i said it but i was just saying i didn't mean it you're a liar i don't believe you you said it you are what you say i was just kidding i didn't mean it honest honest? what do you know about honest? you have to believe me i didn't mean it i know you you're a sociopath i read a book about you sociopath? isn't that kind of a big word for a conversation like this? go away i don't like you any more i never liked you how can you not like me "any more" if you never liked me? there you go again being a smarty pants as well as a sociopath i know you now i always knew you how can you know me "now" if you always knew me? get out get out so all this stuff about the tape and the book about the sociopath is just an exercise in style right if you never liked me i said get out but it's my room yes, mine you don't believe me i have the rent receipt right here in black and white that's just the kind of thing a sociopath would say like what i have on the recording i have the receipt you have the recording i guess there is nothing more to say i guess not sociopath you should find a new insult "sociopath" is kind of sterile all right i'll leave now see you around no you won't i'm glad that's over with

just one

billy, is that you how are you it's been a while yeah think you can give me some sure like the old days when you were my number one remember how you used to give me ten, twelve fourteen at a time wow just thinking about it sixteen, seventeen those were good times right i hear you how about four or five i could really use about four right now no how about one or two one billy one for old times come on i remember you gave me twenty one time remember that yeah you're right things aren't what they used to be that's true time goes by but some things don't change what, like desperation i'm desperate i'm begging you just one can't you give me just one i see yeah all right all right i understand so long, billy it was great talking to you again later

echoes

i was born around here there were none of these brick buildings then these antique shops and wine and cheese shops old sam had his news stand right over there he sold the racing form i'd come every day and say have you got the racing form sam and he'd say of course i have the racing form, what else would i have - there was a place over there, where that greeting card shop is, sold hamburgers and hot dogs it didn't have a name so we called it the place with no name

the confidence man

hey! you made me spill my coffee! but that's all right i'm just a bum, so who cares, it took me all day to get the money, what difference does it make - oh hey thanks pal thanks hey sure you can afford it?

shore

i think i'd like to go far away where no one has gone before over the farthest mountains along an empty shore and walk along forever but never round the bend where the ocean meets the river the river that never ends and stop beneath a shady tree to listen to the rain that plays on the leaves a melody that will never be heard again

stop me if you've heard these before

lord humphrey had a pet white mouse and when he wasn't shooting grouse he whiled away the night and day engaging the rodent in repartee in the parlor of his ancient house lets go sit in the park all day until it gets dark it it rains we won't care it's the answer to the flowers prayer and it won't even leave a mark sister sophie, a modest young nun decided to soak up some sun when her discarded habit was eaten by a rabbit she cried 'i'll be a daughter of a gun!' a temperance lady named june busted up the local saloon with her mighty truncheon she destroyed the free luncheon and the drunkards warm cocoon a postal inspector named sage was on the lookout for gage when a package came by he said, if this only contains some good spliff i could make a living wage a bear and an antelope went into the park to grope when an evil park ranger named murdock t granger sold them some very bad dope josie's kitty climbed a tree because it wanted to be free perched below the topmost leaf it looked down with pure relief at josie's weeping misery all humans are the same all humans are insane they pretend to be civilized but that is just a bunch of lies as they walk in the devils rain mary jones washed rich folks sheets and her daughter walked the streets and made more money in fifteen minutes than mary in her whole life - that's sad isn't it? listen to the rain as it beats listen to the rain as it beats on the windows and in the streets it swirls and falls it murmurs and calls listen to the rain as it beats