12 poems

a drunken derelict named dred
wore a red sox cap on his head
as he dozed off in snowbanks
he dreamingly gave thanks
for big papi, manny, yaz and ted

the world is full of folks
alike as egg yolks
they reach for the skies
with stars in their eyes
they are really just sorry blokes

a gent named henry (not harry) potter
was in love with the beautiful daughter
of the president of the united states
he stood outside the white house gates
his brain turned to bottled water

madame x, an evil procuress
sang every sunday in the chorus
she heard the vicar and sexton say
we know you really pray
to satan - just don't bore us

yolanda, a zulu maid
was ashamed of her body i'm afraid
to desire she was dead
and turned her gaze to heaven instead
as she sat in the cool shade

lord humphrey had a pet white mouse
and when he wasn't shooting grouse
he whiled away the night and day
engaging the rodent in repartee
in the parlor of his ancient house

having gone to the well once too often
a drunkard named dan tried to soften
the ire of his wife
by giving her the beating of her life
but ended up wheezing and coughing

an avid accountant named jones
lost his job, house and home
when his employer chanced to discover
he was talking to a demon lover
all day on the telephone

sister sophie, a modest young nun
decided to soak up some sun
when her discarded habit
was eaten by a rabbit
she cried 'i'll be a daughter of a gun!'

a disgruntled gambler named hall
decided he couldn't win them all
he picked up his ball
and went to the mall
his buddies said, he's got some gall

young george washington sat in a tree
surveying sad humanity
he rolled his eyes
at their pathetic lies
and thought,this is the planet for me

all humans are the same
all humans are insane
they pretend to be civilized
but that is just a bunch of lies
walking in the devils rain