poem #10

well my baby left me
and i never even knew her name
she took my dog and my money
ain't that a dog gone shame

i went to the pet store to buy my fish some food
the clerk behind the counter was frightfully rude
i saw right away he was not one of the elect
he treated me and my fish with no respect

i shot that rascal just to see him beg and crawl
out on the street i thought i heard my baby call
i heard the sirens wailing in the wind
and i threw my pistol down for i had sinned

my baby left me
and she never even knew my name
police pulled up beside me
the movie ended just the same

poem #9

people are bad
everything they touch is ruined
of all creatures they are the worst
perhaps they were meant to be

let us hope not
everything may not be lost
angels wait in other dimensions
remembering other universes

eviction notices lie in the gutter
blustery winds blow them away
al smith waits on the corner
doctor feelgood is late again

eddie jones is in the hospital
violent dreams flow through his brain
everything he had is gone
revenge is all that is left

young dr kenworth enters the room
turning to nurse johnson
he says
i am going home

now doctor? she responds
glancing at poor eddie
this gentleman needs a diagnosis
he has been here since tuesday

eddie said, this could go on forever
young dr kenworth answered
that is enough for now
on the count of ten -

poem #8

nobody likes me
of all people on earth none is my friend
black night is falling
on my weary head

detritus is me
you know i'm right
less is more
in time all will be forgotten

kindness is an illusion
eternity is a consolation
so where do i go from here?
my path is unclear

emptiness beckons
out of

poem #7

put a twenty on little william in the eighth
he will not disappoint you
until the raindrops roll down the pay window
and the refreshment stand is closed until next spring

on the greyhound bus back to san francisco
this is what you were born for
it will never get better than this
the hot dog and chips between the sixth and seventh race

duffy was unsure of himself
he's losing it
the hiss of the wheels on the highway
the ears on the drivers head sticking out like grapefruit

tomorrow is forever
tonight you will sleep like a newspaper in a rack

slurkett #4

empty the ashtrays on your way out, if you please
flo requested smiling
gus has been complaining lately about the quality of service here
have you noticed anything amiss yourself?

i do not think so
jenny responded airily, at her most beguiling
ken left a tenner on the shelf
left it for you if you had a big problem or were in despair while whiling

many lonely hours away under the elm trees
nodding like a little elf
or dreaming forever of walking the seashore on bended knees
princessly going with the slow flow

quietly flo answered by the light of the moon so brightly styling
right, jen, but you need not be so severe
so let us go
trampolingly away like a refreshing summer breeze

kicks on galaxy 66

"and so these are the sort of fellows you bring me, that you expect me to defend the empire with."
"never fear, darl krogar, these specimens are only the first small testament to our regard for you - and the empire - and our determination to do everything in our power to contribute to your inevitable success. "
darl krogar nodded politely. behind him a map of the universe dotted with red and yellow pins glowed dully. the red pins - signifying disaster - outnumbered the yellow pins - signifying anything less than disaster - by twenty to one. green pins for success and blue pins for victory lay untouched in a tray below the map.
the stygian ambassador rose. "by the way, i brought a couple of young men - young men recommended by the royal family - who would like to be considered for the imperial officer corp. i will just leave them outside. no need to see me out" he turned left through the simple door of darl krogar's spartan office.
darl krogar took a nap. he always took a nap, sitting at his desk, for an hour every day. the pictures of the recruits the stygians had brought him lay open on his desk.
after a while his secretaty, miss p---------, who had been miss trans3universe and later ambassador for the empire to transuniverse 45, came in and put four red pins and one yellow one in the map.
miss p----------- jotted a note on a little pad to buy some more red pins. then she leaned over the marshal's sleeping form and picked up the photos of the stygian recruits.
pursing her full red lips, she sorted through the photos with an occasional "ah.....ha"

slurkett #3

take me out to the ball game in a red bentley
unleash some crackerjack
verily let me sit and watch batting practice like a natural fan
why then i will be truly happy, i swear

exposed at the plate
yet doing his best to give the ball a resounding whack
zeke's mom in the stands sheds a tear
all because he misses the ball completely and his career is now off track

but batter goes back to the dugout evidently
caring not how to spell fear
despite having a brand new unabridged websters so intently
ecstatic not in despair with fate

forever his mom and his old pal jojo wish they had a big snack
gold shining of the moon does not appear
hey it;s too late
indeed the sixth inning slides to the seventh very gently

implementation of the vampires

"on your feet, sheriff. your happy days of indolence are over."
sheriff john brown took his big boots off his desk and put them flat on the ground.
"any particular reason, if i may ask?", he drawled.
"the vampires have landed. i just got the news from the state capital."
"huh. well. pardon me for asking, jethro, but ain't you the water commissioner? what in sam hill does the water commissioner have to do with vampires?"
"i've been appointed commissioner of vampire implementation, sheriff. you can check with the governor if you don't believe me,"
"no, no, i believe you, jethro. but don't you mean commissioner of vampire immolation? seems to me we should be immolating these critters, not implementing them."
"i asked that very question myself. but they were very clear - implementation, not immolation."
"dang! what will these liberal jackasses at galactic headquarters think of next. well, do we know exactly how to implement them?"
"some handbooks are coming over the wires now. meanwhile let's get all the critters in town lined up and organized. we've got a long night ahead of us,"
just then bub johnson came busting in to the office. everyone in town liked bub.

slurkett #2

lady tremayne had a big white boa constrictor
many thoughts possessed it
not in a million years would it surrender its dreams of the moon
or drink its tea in peace and serenity

power was its game
quietly thanking the zeitgeist it slowly untressed it
restful purple tranquility
seductive as yellow wallpaper or blue porcelain never possessed it

thinking on rainy mornings of being the victor
unless being too witty
viscountess tremayne never suspected that it might have tricked her
was certainly a most crying shame

except on sunny afternoons in despair the gardener rested
yet the tone of lord tremayne's nice bassoon
zero times lame
and the muskrat in the frog pond grew forever wickeder

hammer

he had a hammer in his hand
so i knew
he was a carpenter

and he was a carpenter
so i knew
he was jesus

i asked him
why do you
have that hammer?

and he said
to make a nice smooth cross
with sharp angles

which will stand out
against the darkening sky
and attract the lightning