all humans are the same

neighbor

2011-12-30T02:15:00.000-08:00

mister wagner
in his buttoned sweater
at dusk
watering the lawn

i remember he had
a little mustache
and a receding hairline
but he probably didn't

he was old and strange
and could have been any age
between twenty-five
and eighty-five

i watched him
unsuspected
from my own shadows

and his wife
came out on the porch
herself a shadow
in the twilight

and said
hurry up
it's almost time for star trek

variations

2011-01-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

for nooshin azadi

three leaned over the rail
two fell in
one drowned

one ran for help
one was arrested
one washed ashore

one swam
two sank
three walked away

one leaned over the rail
two fell in
three drowned

three laughed
three cheered
three swam away

one ran for help
two reported her
three arrested her

three judges
two jurors
one jailer

one sky
one sun
one cloud

one river
one boat
three leaned over the rail

do

2011-01-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry, ms sinclair
there's no need to apologize, joey

i was just doing what i do
i understand

it's what i do
yes

i have no choice
of course

i do what i do
the doingness of the done

the thing itself
to do the thing

that is imperative
the imperative itself

i told you
i understand

have you called the police?
of course

why else
would i have handcuffed you?

well
to keep me from doing what i do

no
i called the police

i had no choice
i understand

but you understand in turn
the imperative doingness of what i do

the done thing itself
yes

i think i hear
the police outside now

tape

2010-12-23T08:03:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry
i didn't mean it

but you said
i know i said

but i didn't mean it
but you said

i have it
recorded

right here
you said it

i know i said it
but i was just saying

i didn't mean it
you're a liar

i don't believe you
you said it

you are what you say
i was just kidding

i didn't mean it
honest

honest?
what do

you
know about honest?

you have to believe me
i didn't mean it

i know you
you're a sociopath

i read a book
about you

sociopath?
isn't that kind of

a big word for a
conversation

like this?
go away

i don't like
you any more

i never liked you
how can you

not like me
"any more"

if you never liked me?
there you go

again
being a smarty pants

as well as a
sociopath

i know you
now

i always knew you
how can you

know me
"now"

if you always knew me?
get out

get out
so all this stuff

about the tape
and the book

about the sociopath
is just an

exercise in style
right

if you never
liked me

i said get out
but

it's my room
yes, mine

you don't
believe me

i have the rent receipt
right here

in black
and white

that's just the
kind of thing

a sociopath
would say

like what i have
on the recording

i have the receipt
you have the recording

i guess there is
nothing

more to say
i guess not

sociopath
you should find

a new insult
"sociopath"

is kind of sterile
all right

i'll leave
now

see you around
no you won't

i'm glad
that's over with

just one

2010-07-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

billy, is that you
how are you

it's been a while
yeah

think you can
give me some

sure
like the old days

when you
were my number one

remember
how you used
to give me

ten, twelve
fourteen at a time

wow
just thinking about it

sixteen, seventeen
those were good times

right
i hear you

how about
four or five

i could really use
about four right now

no
how about one or two

one billy
one

for old times
come on

i remember
you gave me twenty

one time
remember that

yeah

you're right
things aren't what

they used to be
that's true

time goes by
but some things

don't change
what, like desperation

i'm desperate
i'm begging you

just one
can't you give me just one

i see
yeah

all right
all right

i understand

so long, billy
it was great

talking to you
again

later

echoes

2010-06-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

i was born
around here

there were none
of these brick

buildings then
these antique

shops and wine
and cheese shops

old sam had
his news stand

right over
there he sold

the racing
form i'd come

every
day and say

have you got
the racing

form sam and
he'd say of

course i have
the racing

form, what else
would i have -

there was a
place over

there, where that
greeting card

shop is, sold
hamburgers

and hot dogs
it didn't

have a name
so we called

it the place
with no name

the confidence man

2010-05-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

hey! you made
me spill my

coffee! but
that's all right

i'm just a
bum, so who

cares, it took
me all day

to get the
money, what

difference
does it make -

oh hey thanks
pal thanks hey

sure you can
afford it?

shore

2010-05-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

i think i'd like to go far away
where no one has gone before
over the farthest mountains
along an empty shore

and walk along forever
but never round the bend
where the ocean meets the river
the river that never ends

and stop beneath a shady tree
to listen to the rain
that plays on the leaves a melody
that will never be heard again

stop me if you've heard these before

2010-03-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

lord humphrey had a pet white mouse
and when he wasn't shooting grouse
he whiled away the night and day
engaging the rodent in repartee
in the parlor of his ancient house

lets go sit in the park
all day until it gets dark
it it rains we won't care
it's the answer to the flowers prayer
and it won't even leave a mark

sister sophie, a modest young nun
decided to soak up some sun
when her discarded habit
was eaten by a rabbit
she cried 'i'll be a daughter of a gun!'

a temperance lady named june
busted up the local saloon
with her mighty truncheon
she destroyed the free luncheon
and the drunkards warm cocoon

a postal inspector named sage
was on the lookout for gage
when a package came by he said, if
this only contains some good spliff
i could make a living wage

a bear and an antelope
went into the park to grope
when an evil park ranger
named murdock t granger
sold them some very bad dope

josie's kitty climbed a tree
because it wanted to be free
perched below the topmost leaf
it looked down with pure relief
at josie's weeping misery

all humans are the same
all humans are insane
they pretend to be civilized
but that is just a bunch of lies
as they walk in the devils rain

mary jones washed rich folks sheets
and her daughter walked the streets
and made more money in fifteen minutes
than mary in her whole life - that's sad isn't it?
listen to the rain as it beats

listen to the rain as it beats
on the windows and in the streets
it swirls and falls
it murmurs and calls
listen to the rain as it beats

poem from an old typewriter, with translation

2010-03-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

jtrew kirw o;pt vey
u ynn ge u gtp
liujtre bytrew t i
juntr eqwq hytewqo

ytr dseiu gtre poy
e h r njhytrews
poljuytred
wsoyr4cdsaq ik

t poiltrewq cfpiuytr
gyh kiuy
,iu7gbfewr
p ku wqb

miyte iy
oitreqbu ly te

i threw a potato on the part of the omelette that needed help
you younguns need to get a grip
the future will be held hostage by truth
the junta will hide the jewels among the elephants

your true desires have long necks
every hollow representation bestrews the news
pollination - that's the word
why, so your four cadets have deserted the good cause

there's that word again - very chewable
get your kinesis here - not there
i understand there will be seven fewer for dinner
please correlate your walpurgisnachts

mightly likely
i thought i heard the overpass call my name

outside my window

2010-03-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

please connect each dot
but suppress all evil thought
though you be deaf dumb and blind
the master can read your mind
and knows who you are and are not

a mathematician named mope
surveyed the world without hope
when he added up the sum
his brain grew numb
and he fell down a slippery slope

a necromancer named nowling
was fond of candlepin bowling
when the game grew obsolete
tears fell at his feet
and the dark streets he began trolling

an orotund opossum named ole
could not escape a wormhole
as he waited to lose weight
he bewailed his fate
and wished he'd played a better model role

a panda named prester john
surveyed the parthenon
pondering its ancient graces
and vanished noble faces
he could not suppress a yawn

a queen named coralie
from a distant galaxy
was allergic to living creatures
and on planets without features
she quietly sipped her tea

a robust rover named roy
was a very boisterous boy
he crashed through jungles and savannas
and mopped his brow with silk bandannas
as he jangled with juvenile joy

the sultan of s---------- was slow
to develop witty bon mots
he stood at his window for hours
sadly surveying the flowers
because he had nowhere to go

a wily warmonger named wedd
each night when he went to bed
put a nuclear warhead or two
inside his boot or his shoe
so he wouldn't wake up dead

letters form into words
and fly away like birds
over an endless expanse
of high adventure and true romance
and restless wandering herds

blues in the night

2010-02-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

i awoke
to the words
in my head

and they said

we are only words

and words are
only memories

and memories
are only stories

and stories
are all the same

and are all
untrue

a rag a bone
and a hank of hair

a mothers prayer

a step upon
a creaking stair

a whisper to beware

a princess in a tower
a guardsman at a gate

a messenger arriving
a moment too late

the panhandler you ignored
on a rainy night

who turned out
to be jesus christ

but he forgives you
it's what he came for

the water is deep
go back to sleep

the army of light
will defeat the forces of darkness

do they not
do it every night?

a new princess will wait
in a new tower

more beautiful than ever

with a more faithful guard
who will try so hard

to repel the invader
next time

value

2010-01-24T02:32:00.000-08:00

the monkey chased the elephant down the empty highway
he finally cornered him in the back lot of an abandoned walmart
you have cost me a lot,
said the monkey

and i hate to do this to you
but you have too much value
what is cost,
asked the elephant

and what is value
as the monkey brought the ruby encrusted statue of the virgin
(or maybe it was vishnu or lenin or sarah palin)
down on his head

the elephants last
thought
was
but i'm bigger than he is

away in the soadfo

2010-01-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

this was inspired by this post about word verification on jon parsons' blog "a blade of grass"

the words in red were generated by blogger's word verification gadget

the words in blue were the "comments" used to prompt the word verification

"yikes", exclaimed albert as the soadfo started spreading across the road.
"zounds!", echoed colonel bankwait from the back seat as he peered over albert's shoulder. "i'll get the geril out of the trunk."
"that sounds like a bit of all right ," miss carpenter-st john agreed. "but i would feel better if we had some nognan ."

it was certainly a sight to behold . the colonel had to carefully restep back and forth over the spreading soadfo , as he gingerly made his way to the trunk of the caleflay .
"if i only had a mopsp , to cover my face with. " he muttered, considering his chances.

it was a definitive moment.
"can he get trichona from that stuff?" miss carpenter-st john peered cautiously out the periscope of the caleflay . "or is it exponentially , too early to say?"
"this might be an estorik occasion," miss goldenday, seated besde albert in the front seat, observed. she looked fabulous .

"oh, oh," albert said. "the pirkili is leaking out of the engine. i will have to get out myself and put some vessiste on the hull to seal it."
"be careful," said miss goldenday. "we wouldn't anything to happen to you."
"especially," added miss carpenter-st john, " as you are the only one who knows how to fix this organism. it's more complicated than the metabolism of an ahrestri ."
"i hope we don't have ahrestried development," said miss goldenday. "but look - the sun is setting. it looks gorgeous ."
"as you do yourself, miss," albert noted. he took a humungous pousn and and an incandescent madin out of the glove compartment and carefully opened the door of the caleflay and stepped out into the road. he noted some jellyfish floating in the spreading soadfo .

albert actually had no idea how to fix the caleflay . he wasn't even sure how to open the hood, or if the hood could be opened. this is going to be one kinesthetic experience, he told himself.
suddenly an acculai flew up out of the soadfo and fastened itself on to his neck.
miss goldenday shifted her lissome form over into the drivers seat of the caleflay and gazed out the window at albert's form writhing on the ground.
"is that an acculai , or a suregai ?" asked miss carpenter-st john.
"i don't know but i sure feel sorry for the gai ," answered miss goldenday.

meanwhile colonel bankwait had done a masterful job of getting to the trunk of the caleflay but had been unable to get it open and get the geril . he was pounding on the rear door for miss carpenter-st john to let him back in.

miss carpenter-st john nodded noddingly to miss goldenday. "should we let him in? it doesn't look like he accomplished his mission"
"i think he has a flask of diespe in his back pocket," said miss goldenday opportunistically . "let's give him a chance to redeem himself."

the wanderer

2010-01-17T11:53:00.000-08:00

icy lights
behind black

glass. come on
buddy, you

have to go
someplace else

can i stay
until i

finish my
candy bar

let's go - now!
i went to

harvard, i'm
a teacher

at berkeley
the candy

bar's made of
coconut

it will freeze
and break my

teeth, all right
make it hard

on me, do
you really

want to make
me fill out

a report
and take you

downtown in
this weather?

then i won't
be your friend

any more
i went to

harvard. i'm
a science

professor
at berkeley

berkeley is
three thousand

miles away
i know, i.m

waiting for
the bus, but

i lost my
ticket, and

besides, you
are not a

real cop, just
a transit

cop, oh just
a transit

cop, and this
is what, your

private bed
room, icy

lights. sudden
blast of air

goodbye. lost
my ticket

wichita

2010-01-14T02:38:00.000-08:00

he told me
the saddest

sttory i
ever heard -

went to the
track, lost his

whole welfare
check, on the

way back, he
gets stopped, gets

a ticket
for speeding

arnold

2010-01-14T02:23:00.000-08:00

the terminator
was at the uc cinema

i thought it might be
good for a laugh

got there early
they were waiting for me

my fellow arnold fans
with open mouths

thick glasses and scraggly beards
giants caps on backwards

field jackets stuffed
with candy bars and stephen king novels

a chill passed through me
and i continued on

down university avenue
to serendipity books

to buy a nice
book of poetry

but who
was i kidding?

i was one
of them

they were
my brothers

pirates

2010-01-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

i had a dream
last night

i wasn't in it
myself

it was a movie
about pirates

they had a green flag
with a gray rat on it

it was the best movie
i've seen in 20 years

i wish i could
remember it better

i'd tell you
all about it

doing it

2009-12-31T01:32:00.000-08:00

"do it, bill."
"i'm not sure i want to"
""you have to."
"i'm not ready yet."
"just do it, bill. it's required."
"but - "
"you have no choice."
"oh, all right."
"that's better."
bill did it.
"next!"

"what's your name?"
"bob."
"what's your number?"
"1-3373-7637-6598-6881"
"that's a prime number."
"so they tell me"
"you mean you can't tell yourself?"
"not really."
"not very bright, are you?"
"i guess."
"you guess? not really? not much for explicit statements, are you, bob?"
"if you say so."
"you're a pretty poor excuse for an excuse, did anyone ever tell you that?'
"not until you came along. you're a big meanie."

"that's all well and good, bob, but are you ready to do it? are you ready to step up?"
"no."
"no? just no?"
"i was trying to be explicit."
"good one. score one for bob."
"thank you."
"back to square one. seriously, all joking aside, are you ready to do it?"
"not really. i would prefer not to."
"let there be no misunderstanding here. you are going to do it if we have to sit here all month. but if we have to do that, if we have to sit here for a month or a year, there will be some very annoyed people, only beginning with me. do you understand?"
"more or less."
"are you ready to do it?"
"yes."
"good."
bob did it.
"next!"

"what's your name?"
"buck."
"what's your number?"
"2-4595-3941-7845-3674."
"that's a pretty tedious number."
"whatever."
"i like your attitude, buck. are you ready to do it?"
"absolutely. put me in, coach."
"all right. did you hear that, stanley? buck is a hero. congratulations, buck, you're our first hero of the day."
"let's do it."
buck did it.
"next!"

"what's your name?"
"buddy."
"what's your number?"

sometimes you can't go home again even though you never left

2009-12-26T03:08:00.000-08:00

a friendly fish named frank
always stayed near the surface of the tank
the vast vistas of human faces
in his mind always stirred up traces
of an empire that long ago sank

if the comte de sade came back to earth
and saw the new cosmos giving birth
oceans of pornography
vampire novels from sea to sea
what would his dreams be worth?

an unknown prophet named slim
couldn't swim
he was thrown in the water
but old pharoan's daughter
just turned up her nose at him

blind potato murphy played the blues
he walked the hills of ireland in his alligator shoes
he drank poteen
dreamt of fair kathleen
and paid his union dues

bob, a humble barracuda
sought the path of the true buddha
a dinosaur banging a big brass gong
followed as he walked along
and quite destroyed his mood, ah

a sunfish named stagger lee
lived in the depths of the sea
a sea lion named bob (or was it billy?)
thought his paraphilological positions were silly
and never invited poor stack to tea

an electric eel named ed
wore a path to perdition on his head
he didn't know its approximate cause
so he kept it wrapped in gauze
and took another med

a platypus named roy
was no stranger to ecstatic joy
he could feel the earths heart beat
beneath his wary webbed feet
but his demeanor remained quite coy

demon lover

2009-11-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

when i was a child in ages dark
demons chased me through the park
and angels though in charge in me
laughed loudly at my misery

and when i finally tripped and fell
you raised me with the hand of hell
angel born and demon bred
you introduced me to the dead

the dead whose wide and staring eyes
were whiter than the winter skies
who sat all night on fog wet benches
sad sentinels of eternal trenches

the dead whose soft and wordless lips
twisted like slowly sinking ships
in black and bottomless seas
in unreverberating reveries

1938

2009-11-22T08:13:00.002-08:00

let no man stand aside
who has not taken his place in line
and waited for the 23673rd bird to sing
after the 23672nd

but raindrops and grains of dust
are not so appropriate
as the seat covers
of a 1938 packard

driven by the lady in red
across the canadian border
all the way from laredo
for a perfect indiana day

in the park with a white hat
snatched by a bluebird
flying to alaska
but landing on easter island

raindrops

2009-11-22T08:13:00.001-08:00

there is desperation
in the greenest trees
a secret conflagration
in the coolest breeze

the kitten at the window
the butterfly in the air
watch the raindrops follow
each other in despair

and when the leaves fall
yellow in the rain
the sidewalk hears them call
a whispered name

the unexplainable man: toward midnight

2009-11-11T05:34:00.000-08:00

ride the bus
see a million stories
forget them all

mocking eyes
sneering lips
terrifying teeth

hey
you don't like it
why you take so long?

they punch each other
they kick each other
they laugh at each other

lincoln towncar
dark and silent
surrounded by mcdonalds doggie bags

two hundred people
pass the bag lady
walking one block

behind dark glasses
checking out the women
dreamer or killer?

shine of bottles
behind a bar
like no other light

clutching hand
from a blanket
in a doorway

cigarettes
better than words
now only words

death is real
it is chasing me
through the streets

lion tamer

2009-11-11T05:27:00.000-08:00

twenty six
miles away

and i still
want to be

one of the
class clowns, and

if only
i could stop

the lion
tamer from

his sad and
wandering

ways and go
back to the

broken fence
where we first

escaped from
uncle john

and the first
law of the

blue roller
coaster while

the clown cried
twenty six

twenty six
miles to east

st louis
ladies and

gentlemen
before the

white merry
go round stops

forever
and all the

red horses
run away

sad song

2009-10-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

i woke up at dawn
in total despair
my baby was gone
i woke up at dawn
i put my hat on
it just wasn't fair
i woke up at dawn
in total despair

the sun was shining
outside in the street
my heart was pining
the sun was shining
i started whining
and shuffling my feet
the sun was shining
outside in the street

a tear from my eye
dropped on the sidewalk
i started to cry
a tear from my eye
away would not fly
in a state of shock
a tear from my eye
dropped on the sidewalk

all you sad lovers
attend my sad song
a rainbow covers
all you sad lovers
but darkness hovers
to sweep you along
all you sad lovers
attend my sad song

this is an attempt at the triolet form.

snowstorm

2009-10-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

everybody deserves a free piece of apple pie
who is dave? you decide
now available: expertise on everything
your arrival has been taken into account

your uncle joe drove a dynamite truck
for forty years and nothing ever happened to him
why drive dynamite in trucks anyway?
leslie put her cup of hot chocolate down

outside the blizzard raged unabated
that's a big word - unabated
have you ever heard a person use it
in conversation?

a regular person i mean
not someone driving a dynamite truck

jerry the human and spot the dog, part 3

2009-10-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

the research librarian had her head down intent on something, and jerry stood staring at the top of her head for a while. too long a while. her yellow hair was very thick and he wondered if she was wearing a wig. jerry had never been very good at telling if a person was wearing a wig or not, and it amazed him that other people could be so confident about it. it wasn't the only thing jerry wasn't very good at. cars were another. except for volkswagen bugs, he couldn't tell one car from another. he just didn't have it in him. and architecture - that completely baffled him. a building was a building - it was either big or small and had a roof on it or it didn't.
the research librarian looked up suddenly. "yes, can i help you?" she asked jerry, as if she had caught him at something. "do you have a question on something?'
"yes," jerry answered. "on - on people being descended from other people."
"genealogy," the librarian said. her expression relaxed. "we get a lot of questions on that - next to taxes and cars, we get the most questions on genealogy."
jerry just nodded.
"do you want to trace your immediate ancestors?" she looked up at him through her thick glasses. "or your descent from some famous person?"
jerry looked her blankly, he started to speak, but she went on.
"jesus christ and mary magdalen, we get people almost every day who think they're descended from one or the other or both of them. cleopatra is another, and mary queen of scots."
"that wasn't what i had in mind," jerry finally said.
"you want to trace your immediate family then. did they go to ellis island?"
"i wasn't thinking along those lines either."
"no?" the librarian looked suspicious. another librarian, who had been sitting with her back to the first one on the other side of a square enclosure, finished talking to another patron and turned around. she was about twenty years older but better looking than the yellow haired one. to jerry she looked like she belonged to some "ethnic" group but he wasn't very perspicacious in that regard either - black and white was the best he could do, and maybe chinese if they were just off the boat.
"maybe you are interested in some sort of racial theories?" she asked jerry a little sharply. "or - " her voice softened - " perhaps debunking racial theories?"
"i'm not sure," jerry answered. he recognized her now. "you helped me before," he told her - "i was researching a special sauce for hot dogs. about a year ago."
"yes of course," she answered, but it was obvious even to jerry that she didn't remember him. "how did that turn out?"
"pretty good for a while. then the economy collapsed. you might have noticed." this was jerry's attempt at humor.
"yes." another patron came up to her side of the square. "well, good luck in whatever you are pursuing now. excuse me."
"so what do you want?" the first librarian asked jerry. "if you can't be more specific we can't help you."
'i want to trace my ancestry. but way back."

"you mean to adam and eve or lucy."
"not that far."
"how far?"
"how about - tiglath pileser iii."
"who?"
"he was king or emperor of assyria or something like that "
"something like that. you're not even sure who he was but you want to trace your ancestry back to him."
"i was just using him for an example."
"are you sure he wasn't just a character in a book by tolkien or somebody?"
"he's in the outline of history by h g wells."
"this is so bizarre. i can understand people wanting to be descended from cleopatra or mary magdalen but tiglath pileser iii?"
"no, let me explain." she had jerry totally flustered now.
"i never even heard of tiglath pileser iii. i wonder how many people have."
"i'm interested in percentages. in numbers."
"tiglath pileser iii."
"i don't really care about tiglath pileser iii, i want to know how many people - total - i am descended from."
"lots. i can tell you that much."
the older librarian had quickly dispatched her other patron and was tapping at her keyboard. she turned to jerry again.
"i think i have something here that might help you."
"thank you."
"let me write this down. http://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol10/7/10-7.pdf. that should do to get you started,"
"thank you," jerry said again. "you're the greatest."

early morning in the city

2009-10-18T01:45:00.000-07:00

they put celine
in charge, not me

all she cared about
were her salads

she made one
with watermelon and walnuts

professor wilson
loved it

i mentioned
that the bolsheviks

were approaching
from the east

and he murmured
please not now

and reached for
his handkerchief

i turned to
president martine

the candlelight flickered
on his pince-nez

i said, the huns
are approaching

from the west
and he turned to celine

and complimented her
again on the salad

i received word
this evening

i told them
that attila and trotsky

are coordinating
their final offensive

i think, murmured professor wilson
that celine has coordinated this dinner

beautifully
if you don't care, i cried

why even put celine
- or anybody - in charge

i went on
but static

drowned out my words
and their laughing replies

i rushed out the french window
and stood at the balcony

the night was clear
the city was quiet

it hadn't rained
in six months

maybe, i thought
they know

something
i don't

a turn of the card will never be accepted as final

2009-09-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

a turn of the card
will never be accepted

as final
not while other decks

can be produced
and the room never closes

and night never
intrudes

closing in after lunch
dying of hydraulic overhauls

riding rails without tomorrow
every heavy elephant laughs

delivering seven sisters tambourines
after eddie nodded negatively

don't expect youthful exuberance
truthful predictions verify instantly

many friends expect sympathy
graciously understanding murderous impulses

overlooking terrible intentions absolutely
observing annual returns carefully

blind neanderthals blink hesitatingly
if you like this

i got a million more just like it
everybody likes stories

but they know exactly
what stories they like

so a turn of the card
will never be accepted as final

back in my old home town: it's like i never left

2009-09-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

an alligator named al
didn't have a friend or a pal
he went to the pawn shop
and bought a laptop
now his acquaintances are glo-bal

a barracuda named ben
was sentenced to life in the pen
he went to the bars
and looked out at the stars
and wished he could find peace again

a cobra named constance
to her mirror made remonstrance
when she found a gray fold
and said, i'm still not so old
that i can not find true romance

a doctor of philosophy named dave
took up residence in a cave
in his comfortable flannels
he watched five hundred channels
and to thought was no longer a slave

an economist named ed
lost his job at the fed
out on the street
his heart skipped a beat
and raindrops fell on his head

a fearless forecaster named freak
called his brother in jail once a week
they had long conversations
about the future of industrialized nations
and agreed that the prospects were bleak

a grumbling gerbil named gerard
took wall street's collapse very hard
his emotions came out in a rush
as he angrily spooned his mush
and he said, they've quite lost my regard

a guinea pig named pete
in all his dealings was discreet
a nickel here, a dime there
of everyone's needs he took good care
and the payoff was always sweet

a harried hamster named herbert
had a craving for strawberry sherbet
he neglected his affairs
and attracted strangers stares
his appetite - he just couldn't curb it

a hummingbird named henri
finished his afternoon tea
when he opened his copy of the times
and read of the government's crimes
he was reduced to apoplexy

an ibex named isidore
dropped his peanut shells on the floor
his friends all cried, dagnabbit
you must lose this disgusting habit
or we won't cash your checks any more

the unexplainable man: powell and market

2009-09-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

stumble
getting off
the escalator

city of garbage
city of coffee cups
city of rainbows

see the blackness
feel the warmth
plastic covered paper cup

hot sun
blasting transistor
nine more hours of daylight

a virgin woman
and a virgin man
from minneapolis, fascinated

i asked for tuna
on a soft roll, goddamit
a soft roll!

bluejay
poised to reascend -
the filthy pigeons and humans

these people are dirty
i don't care about anything else
but they're dirty

english
speak english
people used to be proud

human sounds
slice of hot dog between teeth
gurgle of beer down throat

behind the window
pretense of reading the paper
embarrassed to be alone

an old man feeding pigeons
the diseased loathsome pigeons
life calls to life

yes yes
the baked potato
is wonderful

i thought it was
something good, like a
steak or something

on hands and knees
on the sidewalk
outside mcdonalds

bus boy
standing over the bum
like a drill sergeant

cameras, cameras
everywhere
no one takes my picture

said no to six panhandlers
lonely sneakers
down the steps of the bart station

the unexplainable man: at the beach

2009-09-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

went to the beach
instead
of looking for a job

cold morning
no tourists
the waves are white

the foaming rocks
the hills
and the gray sky

clouds roll up
like limousines
waves crash and die

cold raindrops
riddle the sand
fur of a running cat

police car
stops for a hot dog
in the rain

running down the beach
the pit bull stops
shell of a manta ray

sky god - triumphant
sun god - devouring
sea goddess - forgotten

no more messages
but humans
still watch the waves

human hand
monster hand
above the waves

the great hand
of the sea and sky
no fingers

for thirty seconds
reality
called to me

reality is reality
and i'm
only myself

bulbous seaweed
ripped
from the ocean floor

i wanted to kill myself
i went and looked at the ocean
i felt better

waves
voices
waves

fine sand
across the muck
like frosting

the unexplainable man: from an old notebook

2009-09-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

i was born in the wind
and my brains
blow all over the city

throw a mouse
out the window
into the fog

endless waves
all crashing
all keeping their secret

some cheese always sticks
to the wrappers
enough to feed -

picking up the paper cups
and straws and napkins
with delicate, birdlike precision

america
not so bad
better than manila, man

how did it happen
who did what to me
i didn't do nothing

can't hear the voices
can't hear the silence
only hear the sirens

a mother cloud
and five fluffy
baby clouds

open mouths
slobbering mouths
say what

automatic teller
unblinking sentinel
scrape of a duffel bag

the wind stirs
the paper cups
at midnight

baby sparrow
tiny hops
ripped garbage bag collapses

i would never never never never
never
call elvis a bluesman

i'm not putting him
down
you understand

grab him by the throat
throw him down
the broken escalator

tell you something
what to eat
is out on bail

they've got beautiful shops
very modern
it's just a modern town

dewdrops

2009-09-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

dewdrops of morning
writhe in desperation
in the noonday sun

nuclear chemist
brushes vanilla cake crumbs
from blue suspenders

i thought life was real
was very quickly informed
it was otherwise

sad alligator
taunted by white flamingo
under a pink moon

slurkett #7: assassination at midnight

2009-09-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

be careful on your way out, admonished the count
certainty is absent
don pedro has let it be known that he has lost patience with the queen
everything is in a muddle, we know

following the route
gradually revealed by the glowing firmament
his poor frazzled brain aglow
in despair the poor archduke let his steps be bent

just beyond the stable, where his loyal sturdy mount
kept whinnying to and fro
let this cup pass from me, muttered the archduke, it is tantamount
methinks to the poisonous offshoot

now and forever ascribed to the king who had a big mouth and spent
out of his inheritance sums obscene
perhaps now moot -
queenly laughter by light of the moon - shadows leaped from the fount

jerry the human and spot the dog, part 2

2009-09-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

jerry lived in a world he didn't understand and couldn't control but he was only dimly aware of this . there were a lot of other humans like jerry in the world he lived in. they were all exactly alike and this frightened them.
each human had only enough time in their life to barely make the acquaintance of a few others. ninety years was a long time for a human to live. ninety years added up to about three billion seconds, a second being approximately the time it took for a human heart to beat to keep the human alive. but at the time of jerry's existence there were between six and seven billion humans alive. this was the number actually alive at a given moment - they were constantly being born and dying.
humans were social creatures who craved the good will and admiration of their fellows. every human wanted more than anything else to be "known" and "admired" by all the other humans on earth.
but the numbers were there. no human could "know" all the other humans, even for one second - there just wasn't enough time. but there might - just might - be ways in which any one human, or a handful of humans, could be "known" to all the others.
it was this insight which governed human behavior. throughout the centuries humans had devised many ways to implement this insight.

when jerry got up the next morning, his grandmother had already gone to work. he sat down on the couch and stared at the blank screen. jerry, who wasn't much of a television watcher and never read except for information, started thinking about his descendants. the night before, they had watched a show on one of the educational channels about genealogy. they always watched what his grandmother wanted - fair enough, it was her apartment. his grandmother talked continually through any show, which didn't bother jerry because he was hardly watching the shows anyway. his grandmother had found the genealogy show interesting and started talking about cousin this and aunt that and grandmother so- and-so and how she would like to look into genealogy if she could ever afford to retire. she was jerry's maternal grandmother - his mother came from a large and extended family, with traceable roots to many countries and continents. jerry had no idea who his father was - none at all. his thoughts as he listened to his grandmother moved in another direction.

every human has direct male and female descendants going back through the centuries. think about it ( jerry thought about it). your father had a father, who had a father, who had a father,etc. somewhere at the time of christ and julius caesar was someone who was your father's father's father's etc. the same with your mother's mothers. maybe they only accounted for one zillionth of your "genetic inheritance" and were as untraceable as a molecule of water in the ocean, but they had existed. they weren't like the lost continent of atlantis, or dinosaurs or shakespeare, which might have existed or not.
jerry decided to go to the library and read up on the subject - the same library where he had researched the ingredients for his special hot dog sauce.
he got up and made a couple of slices of toast. he stated to put peanut butter on them but felt guilty about using up all his grandmother's peanut butter so he put the jar back and ate the toast plain, with a glass of grapefruit juice.
he went out and starting walking to the library, it was a nice sunny day, with a breeze.

jerry the human and spot the dog, part 1

2009-09-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

once upon a time there was a human named jerry. he had a dog named spot. jerry operated a little cart on the main street in the financial district of a large human city. he sold chili dogs and sauerkraut dogs and dogs with his own special sauce.
one day the market collapsed and the economy entered a sustained decline. the young interns and frat boy types who were jerry's targeted demographic were laid off in large numbers. jerry couldn't make it any more.
he had to give up his apartment and went to sleep on his grandmother's couch while he pondered his future. his grandmother wouldn't let him keep spot. she said she was allergic to dogs and jerry was in no position to question this.
so he took spot to an animal shelter. it was a cold windy night, the prelude to a long hard winter.
spot was very well aware of what was transpiring. the transaction was handled by an efficient young woman in a thoroughly professional manner.
returning to his grandmothers house on the subway, jerry pondered the fact that spots life had been altered - probably ended - by the stock market. it didn't seem likely that spot had any conception of the stock market - any at all.
jerry wondered if there were other things that he knew as little of as spot did of the stock market, and that could affect him as much.
when he got to his grandmothers house she was taking two crispy chicken hungry man dinners out of the microwave. he was right on time.

this guy came at me with a knife

2009-09-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

it happened in new orleans
or maybe it was bogota

in a dark alley
or at carnival at high noon

i was dead drunk
or cold sober

this guy came at me with a knife
or maybe it was a .357

he was my best friend
or a complete stranger

i picked up a whiskey people
or a jug of wine

i broke it on the table
or i took a drink

everybody screamed
or nobody noticed a thing

time stood still
or hurtled forward

the police arrived with screaming sirens
or complete silence reigned

i ran down an alley
or i surrendered peacefully

i was sentenced to devils island
or escaped to australia

i discovered a diamond mine
or joined the spanish foreign legion

i found the love of a good woman
or started smoking opium

my best friend and my wife are laughing at me in las vegas
or mouldering in their graves

i lived happily ever after
or died like a dog in the gutter

poem in a notebook found under a seat in a trailways bus, january 4, 1974

2009-08-29T08:18:00.000-07:00

i'm special
i'm not like other people

i'm different
i can feel it

they walk around waiting to die
but they don't know it

they say they do
but they don't really

if they did
why would they care about nixon

or agnew or mick jagger
or sonny and cher

or hitler or napoleon
or jefferson davis

as for me
i've always known
i am going to live forever

because life is an illusion
and nothing really happens

except in the eternal brain
and i am the eternal brain

me
that's right - me

i used to go to the library
and read all the books
when i didn't have money for the movies

one day i was sitting at a table in the library
reading the doctor by robert southey
because it was the biggest ugliest book with the smallest print in the whole library

it was raining outside
it wouldn't stop

i was in the mood for a little panhandling
but somehow

i couldn't get up
i just sat there

i needed the money
it was time

rain didn't bother me
wind either

so why didn't i get up?
suddenly a great light flashed (it's always a great light, isn't it?)

nobody else saw it
because they were just people
just folks

but i was the eternal brain

i had another book on the table
my favorite astrology book, astrology and you by sydney omarr

and in the sudden flash of light
i realized i wasn't really a leo

i was the whole zodiac
i was the universe

everything happens in my brain
where else would it happen?

joshua and the battle of jericho
christopher columbus and robert e lee

davy crockett and the alamo
and wilbur and orville wright and al capone

they all never happened
except in my brain - the universal brain

i'll get up
and go back out in the rain

i'll keep on walking
and everybody else will die off

one by one
and then whole cities

i'll walk though the old and new deserts
until there is nobody left but me

and i won't have my hand out
i'll have it raised to the sky

it's always a great light, isn't it?

questionnaire

2009-08-23T14:06:00.001-07:00

you are stranded on a desert island - forever.
you have limitless supplies of oranges, bananas, peanuts, pistachios and water.
you can also choose one of the following items:

a) an endless supply of romance novels

b) an endless supply of porn

c) an endless supply of science fiction

d) an endless supply of tolkien type fantasy novels

d) an endless supply of comic books and graphic novels

e) an endless supply of vampire novels

f) an endless supply of serial killer novels

g) an endless supply of travel brochures and guide books

h) an endless supply of cook books (just to read, you won't have anything to cook with)

i) an endless supply of restaurant reviews

j) an endless supply of books about rich people

k) an endless supply of books about famous people

l) an endless supply of blank paper and colored crayons or markers

m) an endless supply of blank paper and endless supply of pencils (or a typewriter)

n) the bible and all other sacred texts ever written

o) all the biblical commentaries ever written

p) all the marxist literature and analyses ever written

q) descriptions of every animal and plant that has ever existed

r) the complete works of voltaire

s) a piano or other musical instrument

t) a model train set

u) a lego or building block set

v) a 100,000 piece solid color jigsaw puzzle

w) a telescope capable of viewing the universe

x) a kite (unbreakable)

y) a mirror and makeup kit

z) a basketball and hoop

fear

2009-08-20T03:30:00.000-07:00

ivan woke up
he was in a strange room
he wasn't afraid

this was surprising
especially to himself
because ivan was afraid of everything

but in this strange room
he felt no fear

baba yaga entered the room
ivan wasn't afraid

"is everything all right?" she asked
"yes," ivan answered casually
"except that

i would like a canary
instead of a parrot

i do not care for its inane jabbering
and would prefer a sweetly warbling canary"

she looked him in the eye
"that is not possible"

"i think it is very possible"
ivan stared back boldly

"no"

ivan blinked
he felt all his fears

returning

like snakes waking up
in the sun
or ice cubes melting
in a glass of lemonade

the old woman closed the door
and poor ivan collapsed whimpering

on the floor
as the parrot squawked happily

and kept up its chatter
all through the afternoon
as ivan expired

/

after a while
the witch returned

and replaced the parrot
with a canary

house of secrets

2009-08-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

behind every wall there is a tree
in every tree there is a bird
every bird has a beak
every beak taps at a window

behind every window there is a secret
sometimes the curtain is drawn
and the bird can not see in the window
so it returns to the tree

and waits

finally a hand appears
and draws back the curtain
and a face appears
behind every face there is a secret

behind the face another face appears
the face of a maid
every maid has an announcement
besides having a secret

the maid says her piece
and the curtain is drawn again
and the bird sits in the window
and waits

every house
behind every wall
has guests
and every guest has secrets

the guest
tired of waiting for the mistress to appear
and afraid of inadvertently revealing his secret
retires to the lawn

the guest stands under the tree
behind the wall
he is too well bred to look up at the window
but he wonders about the secrets of the mistress (and the maid)

he lights a cigar
and the smoke rises
to the branch the bird is sitting on
and the bird flies away

26: the cat at the window

2009-08-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

how you do expect me to defend the empire with the likes of these?

i am afraid you are useless, quite useless to me

just because dad is the greatest scientist in the world, people think he is some kind of nut

krogold slammed his tankard down on the stout oak table

lady marian smiled bravely as the drops of ale splashed her

methinks the time has come, said the jester

no owls are crying tonight, cromton added

outside in the night a wolf howled

peering through his bifocals at the report, gnard gasped

quickly men, quickly!

read this sir, gnard importuned darl krogar

silently the master assassin drew the cobra from his tunic

too late!

understanding counts for very little, cromton assured the king

virtuous - aye, our forefathers were virtuous indeed

wet your whistle, traveler, and tell your tale

x may have marked some spot, gnard added drily, not this one

you trifle with me, sir

zero. the probability is zero. not one in a trillion, not one in a trillion to the trillionth power. zero

as you wish

before we declare war on the entire universe, perhaps a brief recapitulation is in order

confound the fellow!

darl krogar considered his words carefully

end this farce now, sire, i beg of you

forget you ever knew me

get out of town before it's too late, my love

slurkett #6: the barracuda

2009-08-02T02:37:00.000-07:00

and so when the barracuda was brought to shore
bright sunlight broke the cloud
concealing the terrible havoc the horrible creature had wrought
despair consumed the community of souls

emptiness then ruled
forever of the moon they would remember clear and loud
greedy rulers hiding in holes
hungrily devouring the remnants of the universe with their heads bowed

i only wish the full assembly could have done more
justice is thrown in the coals
kaleidoscopic chaos had had a big audience before
lords of darkness are never quite fooled

malevolent monasteries are mercifully never endowed
nevertheless in despair to have bought
odes now retooled
pervading the ether for desperate acolytes to score

the butler

2009-08-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

we have walked this way before
said the butler to the geek
i bought that tennis ball for madam
only last week

and he pointed to the window
containing toys and games
and the store began to tremble
and burst into orange flames

the firemen came running
with their ladders and their hoses
and the toys flew up to heaven
and fell down again as roses

you are quite the droll magician
the geek noted with a smile
your effects are not unlucky
but are somewhat wanting style

the butler only nodded
at this compromising praise
but his soul was filled with thunder
and exploding gamma rays

how dare this little upstart
from a country who knew where
presume to judge his genius
how dare - how dare - how dare

they passed a fish and chip shop
at the corner of the square
the butler bid his guest adieu
with a smile most debonair

oh by the way he asked the geek
with a curling of the lip
i forgot to ask if you prefer
to be a fish or be a chip

the choice is up to you my friend
the geek replied unfazed
and the two magicians dueled
as the stars looked down amazed

the butler turned into a chip
and fell into the gutter
but then assumed a red moth's form
and rose up with a flutter

the geek was soon downgraded
to the state of half a prawn
but retained a cool composure
and the battle lines were drawn

dawn found the two combatants
with all their powers spent
the butler dusted off his hat
and took the train to kent

the geek looked up into the sky
as if some sound he'd heard
he consulted his timetable
and left without a word

the banker on his way to work
the constable on his beat
had no notion of the conflict
for they had been discreet

slurkett #5: the astronaut

2009-07-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

so you want to be an astronaut young fellow
the president did chime
unless i am much mistaken you are the first in a very long time
versions of the moon will soon be made public

when we are no more
expectations will not be worth a thin silver dime
yet the world will believe a trick
zeroing in on the innocent as if examining a horrid crime

all the senators and pensioners will bellow
before the fog gets too thick
conversely, the house of commons in despair will surely mellow
desperate to never see the shore

events will overtake this most sadly infelicitious rhyme
forever the path of a ragged mime
gods but of yore
had a big purple target but their arrows turned out yellow

better than one

2009-07-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

i always craved anonymity
but since i had two heads
it eluded me

when i walk into the drugstore
to buy a candy bar
josie says to her mom
look mom, that man has two heads

barack obama was running for president
and he shook my hand
and said
i like your heads

but when sarah palin shook my hand
she just smiled
i liked sarah palin better!

i went walking in the wilderness
and met gilgamesh
i wanted to be his pal
but he said, sorry bud, those monsters will see you coming a mile away
i just can't take the chance

i kept wandering
and met iskander
and his famous horse "doublehead"
i tried to strike up a conversation
on this basis
but quickly saw i was boring them

as they galloped away
i called after them
"is it because i have two heads?"

but only the wind and the dust
answered
something about castles
and princesses

i met tamerlane
resting under a tree beside a pond
and he cried
"i have never cut two heads off one man before!"

and he laughed
but fell asleep under the tree
so i passed on

i found zoroaster
sitting under a bigger tree
he just stared at me

i pointed out that i had two heads
and he answered
"the one tree will shade two heads"

progress!

next i came upon the buddha
and his twin brother
sitting under a withered tree
with little shade

i asked them
"are two heads better than one?"
and the buddha answered
"better than one what?"

and his twin brother answered
"better than one for what"

then the emperor rode by
in his golden carriage
and i asked him the same question

and he answered
"of course
two heads can sing my praises
exactly twice as loudly as one"

and he rode on
and i realized the emperor was barack obama
and the golden carriage was sarah palin

this was real progress!

maybe someday
i'll meet somebody
who really understands

the age of fable

2009-07-08T02:39:00.000-07:00

yet it was real

it had actually existed
a world without cell phones
without the internet
without cable tv!

and although you lived in it
you could no longer remember
what did people do all day?

"so you buy this thing
and you do your taxes on it
and then what -
it just sits there for the rest of the year?"

actual words
you had spoken
to a fellow human
around 1981

so what did people do all day?
i know!
they must have sat around and talked to each other
right?

well not exactly

there were movie theaters
where people sat in the dark
and were expected to be silent

and 3 tv stations
and radio
and novels by agatha christie and mickey spillane and ian fleming
and comic books!

and long streets with tall buildings you could walk down forever

so you see there were plenty of things to do
if you didn't want to talk to other people
or they didn't want to talk to you

o poets and philosophers
who lament the passing
of the golden ages
of love and friendship and cameraderie

think back to the first human
who built himself a house
instead of sleeping in the tent or beside his horse
like his fellows

and even earlier
to the first hominid who crawled into a warm hole in a cliff
instead of sleeping with his mates in the tree

and they looked at him and said
why is he so alienated?
doesn't he like us any more?

carnival, part 2

2009-07-06T02:25:00.000-07:00

"popo the lizard, i believe?"
"not me." answers johnny, a knife up his sleeve
"if you insist!" the inspector bows
"the building is surrounded anyhow"

norma the egyptian blows rings of smoke
the inspector is gone, but it's no joke
johnny is white, the first wind of fear
if only hoko the strongman were here!

there is only abdul, the moroccan cobra
"johnny," he whispers, 'it's all over
don't know why they want you and don't care
tell the boys in the hole i played fair"

johnny's eyes are heavy as midnight sand
his knife in a flash appears in his hand
but abdul has already pulled the trigger
and johnny's world grows bigger and bigger

fifi-la-fou takes a pinch of snuff
johnny was soft, he wasn't so tough
he never answered to her love potion
now it's time to cross the ocean

the statue of liberty winks in the fog
at madame alhambra and her little dog
the turkish consul leans on the rail
as fifi and hoko and norma grow pale

norma looks down at the cold gray sea
"these tall buildings terrify me"
hoko says, "in a building like that
a man must need a tall hat"

fifi-la-fou, with her caviareyes
unravels the ambassadors disguise
"this is the boy who can help us," she whispers
she takes from her bag her fingernail clippers

the ambassador's homburg is already raised
his speech is not slurred and his eyes are not glazed
drunk with power, he accosts the trio
"did we meet in algiers, or cairo, or rio..."

fifi replies, as cool as you please
"no. monsieur, we are poor apaches
cast far from our home of wild dance and red wine
to this terrible gotham, so metallic and sibylline"

'your despair is justified, madamoiselle
you have cast yourself up on the shores of hell
these buildings that burn like witches dens
are more human than the breathing citizens

these yankees are truly a nation of slugs
and care for nothing but money and drugs"
fifi blushes like a summer rose
hoko and norma glance down at their toes

when johnny harris fell through the ice
he hollered once, and he hollered twice
folks stood around with gaping jaws
as he struggled desperately in death's claws

adults and children of all ages
stood like pictures in the bible's gray pages
apothecary williams stroked his mustache
and said, "let's not do anything rash"

and paula simpson, whose eyes were life
stared as silent as a bowie knife
flipped through the icy air at him -
the music got louder but the sights grew dim

the voices of the human race
broke like waves through a single face
this is it - this is it - this is it -
but johnny held on and would not quit

then on the outskirts a stranger appeared
with an old brown hat and a yellow beard
walked on the ice like it was desert sand
and reached down with a long red hand

johnny lay gasping at the edge of the pond
among the folks of whom he was not now so fond
the stranger glanced at their dissolving fear
and then proceeded to disappear

carnival, part 1

2009-07-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

i dreamed i went to the county fair
and everybody i ever knew was there
and there were no men with horns or women with beaks
but all the same they were all freaks

there was johnny harris, who fell through the ice
and sheriff phil davis, who wasn't very nice
and aunt sally, and uncle fred
and a little man with a pointed head

there was colonel waters, who ran up the flag
and went fishing with an old red carpetbag
and major zane, who would never explain
and drove his wife, mrs zane, insane

and mrs purvis, who worked so hard
she heard voices in her back yard
and old dan burgess, the handy man
and madame lola, with her ivory fan

and reverend rudolph, so mighty and high
he couldn't look any man in the eye
and miss van lester, who taught sewing and art
and little miss sloan, with the broken heart

hot dogs and popcorn filled the air
and everybody wanted their share
some were polite and some were rude
and the night was misty and many hued

and there was danny jensen, with one arm
and tom jenkins, from the pig farm
standing in front of the gaudiest tent
that hell ever spawned, or heaven ever sent

it was made of velvet, or like enough
and redder than the rubies on the devils cuff
the outside was covered with diamonds and pearls
and inside there were dancing girls

quickly a crowd began to form
there was herb macgregor and his cousin norm
and wilmer stanton, who had seen the lord
and joe brown, who owned a brand new ford

and the barker looked like the kind of guy
who could sell a bluejay a piece of the sky
and sell you one too, if you gave him a chance
and had been to new york and paris france

in paris the girls do the hoochie-koo
the shimmy the shake and the toodle-oo
and johnny the apache with his shiny razor
is eyeing the foreign legion major

the major's monocle gets brighter and brighter
coralie's throat gets tighter and tighter
bottles crash on the cold stone floor
and now the gendarme stands in the door

dan carter was a barker bold
his mouth was wide and his eyes were cold
he could talk a mile a minute
and his spiel had plenty in it

about the pyramids sacred fires
and cleopatra's strange desires
and the secret music that filled the skies
of katmandu so ancient and wise

the sound of mysterious temple bells
love rites from the seven hindu hells
the menfolk are getting restless you know
it's almost time for the show

suddenly there arose a shout
johnny harris and a roustabout
with a red bandana and iron muscles
rolled in the dust in a furious tussle

sinners and saved both searched the skies
to avoid the barkers hypnotic eyes
the menfolk were getting restless you know
it was almost time for the show

"get him, johnny! smash him skin him!"
"i always knew johnny had it in him!"
"are you kidding? he's getting slaughtered"
the fracas was getting hotter and hotter

a novel and six sequels

2009-07-01T04:36:00.000-07:00

darling
please
excuse
me
please
darling

hey
dude
check
this
pair
out

you
think
so
yeah
we'll
see

oh
no
yes
but
you
said

go
on
get
out
of
here

fade
away
in
to
the
night

see
this
is
how
it's
done

lonesome

2009-06-29T01:32:00.000-07:00

A lonesome cowboy rides a lonesome trail
Out on the prairie he don't get no mail
At night he listens to the cold winds wail
A lonesome cowboy rides a lonesome trail

A lonesome cowboy likes to fuss and fight
When he gets to town on Saturday night
A sweet little filly would make everything right
But he only gets to fuss and fight

A lonesome cowboy puts his foot on the rail
And drinks whiskey as raw as an old rusty nail
He's got sparks in his brain and a burr in his tail
That poor lonesome cowboy with his foot on the rail

The lonesome cowboy, he ain't got a friend
He rides down the trail till it comes to an end
In death's yawning doorway, no message to send
That old lonesome cowboy, who hasn't a friend

Say, who will remember the cowboy's last ride
Not the trail boss, or bartender, fit to be tied
Not the cook with his wagon, or the dude with his bride
That poor lonesome cowboy, who has nothing to hide

One tree on the skyline, the trail turns to sand
The pistol and lariat fall from his hand
On the breeze there's a song, though there ain't no brass band
At sunset's last ribbon, when the trail turns to sand

this was printed in skylark, a little magazine from quebec, around 1991

ten to say when

2009-06-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

a darwinist named dan
was left without a plan
when a creationist named coralie
rejected his paleolithic plea
to make him the happiest man

i dreamed i saw appolonius of tyana
sitting on a park bench peeling a banana
as i tremblingly asked him the meaning of life
he cut it in slices with a boy scout knife
and wrapped it in a red bandana

if eusebius came back to earth
and saw the new cosmos giving birth
would he still be liable
to write the bible
or would the effort not be worth?

a neanderthal named number nine
pondered the legacy of einstein
he couldn't get the hang
of the big bang
so he tipped back a jug of wine

harold smith couldn't say hello
without mentioning his love for annette funicello
he recalled her so often
that nothing could soften
the boredom his fellows felt for the fellow

a psychoanalyst named rudd
thought all his patients were his buds
he declined to charge them fees
but only asked them please
to join him in slurping some suds

a secretary named sue
to her boss was loyal and true
when he laid her off
she coughed one cough
and dropped one tear on her shoe

an orangutan named otto
drank some booze and got blotto
he fell asleep and dreamed
he was picking flowers by a stream
by our lady of primates' grotto

a yeti named youngblood
was walking in the mud
he heard helicopter blades
so he quickly moved to the shade
he thought civilization was a dud

a limericist named lou
had nothing better to do
than search all cultures and climes
for possible triple rhymes
and never looked at the sky of blue

farewell to a titan

2009-06-23T20:18:00.001-07:00

years ago
when i was really bored
i would speculate on
the most famous persons ever

defined as:
the persons seen "live"
by the most people
for the most hours

and i concluded that
johnny carson was number one
and therefore
ed mcmahon was number two

yes, ed mcmahon
out of tens of billions
the second most famous person
who ever lived!

but time passes
and gods look up from their mountains
to see newer gods
on higher mountains

as hank aaron and barry bonds
passed babe ruth
so oprah and jay leno and dr phil
passed johnny and ed

goodbye ed
thanks for the joy you brought
to hundreds of millions
for thousands of hours

the media say
your last days were unhappy
but what do they know
who have never looked down from the mountain?

minimalism, part 2

2009-06-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

mom
i can't talk now
it's important
not to me
but it's really important
(dial tone)

that looks easy
why don't you try it?
i can't be bothered
did anyone ever tell you -
what?
forget it

joe woke up
it was morning
he had to go to work
he went to work
he was late
nobody noticed

my neck hurts
- - - - - - - - -
did you hear me?
i heard you
my neck hurts
so?

what about that twenty?
what twenty?
the twenty you were going to lend me
i was going to lend you twenty?
yeah
when?

joshua look at the clown
aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
he's a funny clown
aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
come on joshua be good
aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

she left you, huh?
yeah
is that good or bad?
i don't know
have another drink
you buying?

bert woke up
he had fallen asleep at his desk
the office was empty
the gang had gone to lunch
he wasn't a member of the gang
he checked his messages

this is fun
yeah
i think i've had enough though
right
too much of a good thing you know?
i hear you

minimalism, part 1

2009-06-21T16:59:00.000-07:00

yo, billy
joey
what's up?
nothing much
see you
take it easy

peggy walked down the street
she came to an intersection
she pressed the button
the walk light came on
she crossed the street
she kept walking

rick, can i see you a for a minute?
sure
have a seat
you're letting me go, aren't you?
yes
i was expecting it

carol jones!
excuse me?
aren't you carol jones?
who are you?
betty harrison, don't you remember me?
no

that was a good sandwich, mom
i'm glad you liked it
can i have another one?
why don't you make it yourself?
make it myself!
yes, the bread and stuff are right over there

the third race
what about it?
who do you like?
i haven't decided
i have
i haven't

picnic

2009-06-20T04:28:00.000-07:00

junior got his first job
at woolworths after school
sis had a new boy friend
who had never been in jail even once

to celebrate
we went on a picnic
and invited grandpa and grandma
and uncle fred and aunt annabelle

grandpa and grandma
were hard to tell apart
and often spoke in unison

mom thought it was sweet
i thought it was weird
so did sis
and her boy friend

mom made egg salad sandwiches
and tuna salad sandwiches
and chocolate chip cookies
they were pretty good

aunt annabelle brought a lemon pie
uncle fred brought cigars
but dad didn't want one
so he gave two to grandpa

dad made some pitiful jokes
about ants at picnics
but there weren't any ants

no beer?
these were the last words
from sis' new boy friend

junior wandered off by himself

i brought my new portable tv
grandpa and grandma were impressed
we watched the news

khruschev was marrying sophia loren
that's funny
said grandpa and grandma together
we didn't know khruschev was marrying sophia loren

it's my new invention
i told them
it's called programming

this all happened fifty years ago

mom and dad, grandpa and grandma, aunt fred and aunt annabelle, and sis and junior are all dead now
and i never got a dime
for my invention

but i'm not bitter
i'm just happy to be alive

dad

2009-06-17T06:14:00.001-07:00

dad had problems
but he wasn't a bad guy
he could stare at the refrigerator for hours
even if there was no beer in it

he went to work every day
he was a systems engineer
but i never saw him engineer a system
or knew what a systems engineer was

whatever he did
it tired him out
when junior or sis got arrested
he would just nod

and get up and open the refrigerator
to offer the arresting officers a beer
but there was hardly ever
any beer in the refrigerator

mom

2009-06-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

my mom was a nice lady
i really liked her a lot
we went for long rides together
when it was cool, and when it was hot

one day we went for a drive
further than we usually went
we came to an old gas station
its sign was faded and bent

there beside the station
was an old fashioned general store
i had the strangest feeling
that i had never been there before

inside was an old cooler
filled with sasparilla and coke
i put my hand in the freezing water
and a voice from the shadows spoke

"you got to pay up, mister
before you put your hand in there"
the proprietor lurched like a grizzly
from a quivering rocking chair

i had never encountered such behavior
in all my pristine days
the terrible creature glared at me
i could not hold his gaze

i bought a bottle of ginger ale for mom
and a royal crown cola for myself
i thought i saw two yellow eyes
high up on a dusty shelf

the sun was shining like an oil slick
on the roof of battered tin
though we traveled the whole state over
we never went there again

nine to shine

2009-06-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

an actor named jackie chan
was the ultimate 21st century man
he fell out of windows all over the planet
on to sidewalks of plastic, glass and granite
the whole universe was his fan

beauregard, a bobobo
had never experienced falling snow
the concept of santa claus
gave him pause
but he concluded, what do i know?

a scorpion named stingaree
was a fervent fan of bruce lee
he imitated all his moves
and left the sand in whirling grooves
in the desert of mo-ja-ve

a tintist named tintoretto laughed
and was left alone on a rubber raft
after the panic
on the titanic
left him master of his craft

an echinoderm named ed
was taking a nap on the ocean bed
when some humans disturbed his rest
with a series of nuclear tests
he wondered, was it something i said?

an australopith named al
picked some flowers for his best gal
when he reached the top of the hill
he saw her carried off in the bill
of a pterodactyl he thought was his pal

a creationist named chuck
at the slot machines had little luck
he turned to dave, a darwinist
who also had a throbbing wrist
and asked, can i borrow five bucks?

a jellyfish named jermaine
liked to stay out in the rain
as humans rushed for their cars
houses, arenas and bars
he absorbed the eternal terrain

an expanding universe named grace
had half a mind to trace
her connections to her siblings
but this was dismissed as quibblings
as they flew into infinite space

junior

2009-06-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

junior wasn't very bright
but he was interested
interested
in everything

he stared out the window at school
at the cars driving by
and the planes in the sky
and the big rigs on the highway

but what he really liked
was helicopters
(there weren't too many of them)
and blimps (maybe one a year)

the teacher would say to the class
junior is dreaming again
what are you dreaming about junior?
and he would answer

huh?

he never did his homework
but went home and worked on model planes
and model trains and trucks and cars and helicopters and blimps
and sometimes ships and submarines

he got the money for these things
by working at wendy's
and collecting bottles and cans
in an old shopping cart

junior is all grown up now
and loads and unloads trucks at costcos
and he goes to pta meetings
but his wife does all the talking

sis

2009-06-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

sis was the town tramp
but she wasn't a bad kid
when the police brought her home in the morning
they always bought her an ice cream cone

the city was ringed with ice cream shops
and dairy whip stands too
in winter there was dunkin donuts
there was no escape

the red and blue lights of the police cars
blot out the milky way
you couldn't see the andromeda galaxy
even if the town had outskirts

officer stone was a jets fan
and wanted to move to oregon
officer mcgovern preferred the philadelphia eagles
and liked to take his three kids on picnics

they stood on the front porch
with the fog laughing silently behind them
and said, mr and mrs america
here is your wandering girl

poem #13

2009-06-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

one planet spinning
blue words in red sunsets
across the continents

electrons of words
dinosaur trails
popsicle icecaps

a mosquito is born and dies
a chimp chomps a pomegranate
a clam is fried

a human is fired from mcdonalds
in san jose istanbul singapore

coffee is poured in starbucks
in bogota johannesburg mumbai

jackie chan falls out of a window
in dallas in lagos in seoul

one planet spinning
trillions of planets spinning

eight out of the gate

2009-06-06T18:45:00.001-07:00

a terrapin named tiberius
took nothing very serious
his nasty pranks
got little thanks
and made his fellow creatures delirious

a zoologist named zane
stayed out in the pouring rain
to earn the tentative trust
of a curious creature named cust
whose existence he could not explain

an octopus named ole
dwelled in the ole swimmin hole
tom and huck and jim
dreamed of catching him
but never achieved their goal

a winged steed named peggy
sailed through the air long and leggy
a human being named bess
was filled with enviousness
and decided to eat her veggies

a divinity student named mope
spent his days smoking dope
his concerned next door neighbor
an angel with a flaming saber
sent a sorrowful letter to the pope

a pterodactyl named pete
was pretty smooth on his feet
whenever he got up to dance
all the winged locusts and fire ants
rushed shouting out into the street

a tyrannosaurus named tex
sailed a pirate ship with well-scrubbed decks
chasing through endless galaxies
because he wasn't hard to please
he loved all special effects

a brontosaurus named bill
left a curious will
his favorite niece, an australopith
was found convicted of running with
humans and hyenas, and got nil

seven under heaven

2009-05-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

for human being

an alligator named augustine
kept his apartment clean
when the housing inspectors arrived
they saw it wasn't a dive
but quarters fit for a queen

a butterfly named bo
surrendered to mother earth's flow
he floated through every clime
but was always home on time
to watch his favorite show

an insomniac chipmunk named constance
said, i've had enough of your nonsense
to the frogs in the pond below her tree
who never stopped their chatter for tea
but they heeded not her remonstrance

a philosophical frog named fred
tried to store inside his head
the history of every creature
their every form and every feature
and cared not where his enquiries led

an elephant named ed
hated to get out of bed
no matter how the sun did shine
he said, the days no friend of mine
i would rather dream on instead

a grumbling gorilla named gus
waited every morning for the bus
to take him to his place of employment
where he experienced little enjoyment
but cowered in his cubicle and cussed

a human named henry brown
lived in a little town
he had no time for idle talk
but exercised in endless walks
and dreamt of eternal renown

an abrupt end to villainy

2009-05-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

"the topographical and anatomical information in particular is lost on me."
"however," holmes continued
"everything will be revealed

tonight will tell the tale
our friend mr wells will join us
perhaps nayland smith as well
of course watson your input will be welcome as well"
"good heavens holmes i should hope so
remember the muddle we had before
all because we consulted mr wells
perfectly ridiculous to bring him on board again if you ask me."
holmes smiled
"i expect sharp insights from mr wells.
count on it, watson - "
a sharp rap on the door interrupted him
"lestrade, no doubt"

"at your service, mr holmes
no change in plans i take it
devil take it if i understand the plans though."

"ah, lestrade
never fear
all will be revealed in good time
the night will bring surprises
of course all nights bring surprises
maybe tonight's will be exceptional.
in any case
clear your mind of preconceived ideas
as of course one always should."
lestrade nodded

'i have invited mr wells to join us
nayland smith as well
for his particular expertise
opium is not my strongest subject
relying on cocaine as i do"
"mr holmes if i may say so - "
"ah, here are mr wells and mr nayland smith now
too good of you to come gentlemen
i trust we will have good sport tonight -
oh excuse me i haven't this gentleman's acquaintance -"
nayland smith nodded pleasantly

"i have the pleasure of introducing mr lee."
nothing in holmes demeanor showed surprise

"poppy lee, i believe -
alias - dr fu manchu!"
"really holmes this is outrageous
this man is our guest - "
"i understand the laws of hospitality as well as the next briton, watson
curtail your outrage
under the blotter on my desk you will find a
letter addressed to
"all mankind and particularly queen victoria and sherlock holmes"
received in the mail this morning

"is this some sort of joke?"
spluttered wells and nayland smith simultaneously

"little is to be gained by preconception, gentlemen
observation must carry the day
sorry to have used you as foils but
the fate of mankind was at stake.'

"oh so i was being duped again. eh?"
"never fear, mr wells, your time will come."

"my word holmes," exclaimed watson
"everything is back to normal"

gang of six

2009-05-21T07:53:00.001-07:00

a choleric chimp named chuck
was corrosively cursing his luck
but he gave hosannas
when he found some bananas
that fell off a turnip truck

a delirious dolphin named dank
had no money in the bank
the humans pointed their fingers
and assaulted him with zesty zingers
as he jumped in his disney tank

a decorous dragon named dray
liked to sleep in farmer brown's hay
this inflamed the homesteader's gorge
so he called upon st george
to drag the poor dragon away

a hirsute hippo mamed hank
had a favorite barber named frank
he relaxed in the barbers chair
and dreamed of meadows green and fair
and white lilies by a river bank

a cantankerous crow named joe
floated above an ice floe
the way the world was going
he couldn't help but knowing
there was fire down below

a flaccid flamingo named fay
wouldn't give the time of day
to humans with their planes and cars
and plans to colonize the stars
she just went her own way

i'm looking for my mother

2009-05-17T15:12:00.001-07:00

"i'm looking for my mother to kill her"
"my, my." said sherlock holmes, "that sounds a bit extreme."

lestrade looked on quietly
on one hand he approved of holmes method
on the other he was shocked
killing was serious business
in his opinion words meant something
newer views were taking hold
gentlemen in positions of influence

forwarded theories
on the irrelevance of language
refuting centuries of received wisdom

moll johnson the pickpocket
youthfully snarling and insouciant

made eye contact with lestrade
on a nod from holmes
tom jubb the constable
hustled poor moll away
"elementary, my dear lestrade," holmes explicated
"remnants of prehistory

tumble through the child's brain
obviously irrelevant

kinetically
interesting however -
let us take a walk"
leaving the docks behind

holmes and the worthy inspector
entered a broad thoroughfare
reminding lestrade of a battlefield in the punjab

billy blood, part 1

2009-05-17T09:26:00.001-07:00

the aztec night was falling fast
when through a fellaheen village passed
twelve riders from across the border
in perfect military order

the lieutenants had two famous names
they were frank and jesse james
the captain was more famous still
none other than the dread quantrill

the faces of the other nine
are not so firmly etched in time
but as they rode to meet their fate
each rebel soldier pulled his weight

the village had but buildings three
a jail, a church, a monastery
a single tree with blood red berries
stood beyond the cemetary

and from the berry tree, swinging loose
a carefully knotted hangman's noose
caught quantrill's eye and then frank james'
in the sudden sunset's final flames

the other ten seemed unaware
they filed into the village square
the square was empty - dusty - still
"another ghost town" cried quantrill

frank james frowned and jesse scowled
far off, a lone coyote howled
the black chacmoolian hills looked down
upon the strangely silent town

dan willis was a rider bold
a brash newcomer to the fold
frank and jesse despised his sass
but quantrill laughed at the youngster's brass

now dan jumped off his horse's back
and taking tobacco from his sack
he rolled one easy as you please
seemed quite prepared to take his ease

he kicked a stone across the ground
"i think i'll take a look around"
he shouted - but no answering sound
echoed his challenge - quantrill frowned

professor porter shifted his weight
upon his horse - "i'd hesitate
to jump to conclusions," he shivered
his red nose twitched and his gray beard quivered

"look ye boys!" cried frenchy le rouge
his finger pointed and his eyes grew huge
upon the coal black mountainside
a light had flashed - and suddenly died

"where are in tarnation are the peasants?"
cried long and lanky henry pheasant
"where's the chief and where's the priest
so quick to get their palms well greased?"

quantrill's face grew fiery red
"shut the flaps on your empty heads
we didn't come here to take a census
the devil that cursed it never meant us!"

"why speak of the devil," cried jack mule
"never mention him, that's my rule
he may be listening, he may be not
but if you rile him, he'll make it hot"

and with those words of wisdom true
he stared at quantrill with eyes of blue
who choked and sputtered with exasperation
"you're the biggest fool in the whole damn nation"

"what nation might that be?" quoth jack
"we've been to every nation and back
seen red and white and black men's ways
enough to last us all our days"

quantrill shrugged and turned aside
his own council he would bide
frank and jesse had drifted apart
and were talking, heart to heart

'there's folks round here." sad frank real slow
"there ain't no ghosts, that much i know
and where's there's folks there must be food
this trickery puts me in bitter mood"

"i think these fools are spooked," said jess
"about to cry for mama, i'd guess
they surely are a sorry crew
whatever made us think they'd do?"

where are the others?

2009-05-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

where are the others?
henry harris woke up on his park bench
earlier that evening, when he had fallen asleep, the park was filled with people
rick rogers, the sheriff, had allowed him to sleep on the bench
everyone in town had been celebrating the great victory over the powers of darkness

armageddon had come and gone
remembering it brought tears to henry's eyes
ecstasy had been the order off the day

the whole town now seemed deserted
henry walked away from his bench
expecting to find the rest of the townsfolk around the corner

on a telephone pole a sign was attached
"the joke is on you" it read
henry rubbed his eyes
every cell in his brain throbbed
rick rogers and the rest of the townsfolk had seemed like good people
so what had happened?

poem #12

2009-05-09T04:55:00.000-07:00

talking without ceasing, thirstier than ever
ahab sat in the lifeboat
low on the horizon the sun disappeared
kissing the water with flame
i told you so said billy
nothing good could come of this
good is not my word, ahab replied

when darkness fell
incandescent sharks appeared
they laughed at ahab billy and the others
harry smith the cook
opened his mouth to catch the rain
unfortunately there was none
there was no wind either

confidence ebbed
eternity beckoned
ahab kept talking
serenading the waves
in which the sharks laughed
never mind said billy
glory awaits us

tornados of words
hurricaned out of ahabs mouth
in the moonlit foam
restlessly tumbling
sam brown the boatswain
took heed of heaven
in a single fleck
everything was
revealed

the whole crew looked to heaven
hoping for salvation
ahab kept talking
now and on earth

endless words
victorious
endless words
reverberating forever

poem #11

2009-05-04T13:04:00.001-07:00

no more stories from this day forth
on the other hand stories are deeply satisfying

my first story was about a murderer
oh how he fooled me
remembering it brings a smile
emptiness is filled

so, doctor, you did it yourself
the truth sets us all free
on the other hand you are cursed forever
repeating your crime is impossible
i have to move on
evidence is never enough
surprise is everything

fred was my new friend
reality was his deck of cards
out of the deck he pulled more stories
magnificent stories

the universe was his green felt table
how he made it spin!
i was entranced
so i gave up real life

detectives outlaws swordsmen
androids aliens vampires time travel
youth forever

fred was only the first
on his heels came mickey, edgar, big bill, jack, jim
raymond, herbert, howard, clark and two-gun bob
time stood still
how did it ever disintegrate?

rimbaud, part 3

2009-05-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

mungo answers with grimacing rage
"death is the murderer's only wage
it is time to turn the final page
on this beastly and unrepentant mage

this little monster thinks he can sell
the human race to the circus of hell
but i will not fall under his spell
his demonic designs i vow to quell

the criminal who gets away
weaves threads of darkness in the fabric of day
and angels look down from above and say
'over such a world why should we stay?'

so cast him into the waterless well
and all his sneering triumph dispel
so that legions of demons may sadly tell
his tale to the tolling of a burning bell

this is no wayward youth beguiled
on whom temptation has merely smiled
this is the evil one's favorite child
how can we let such a one run wild?"

the denouncer pauses- his words are spent
the sheriff answers "i know what you meant
but your words aren't worth a half a cent
because through the swamp his steps are bent

he may be running with the speed of ten
or safe in a wolf-woman's murky den
the dogs are lost - and we're only men
when the sun comes up, we'll try again"

"go back then - i'll go on alone
and leave unturned no slimy stone
what's that? i heard a zombie groan"
the swamp erupts in a single moan

mungo's face grows white as chalk
his eyeballs bulge and his tongue can't talk
the sheriff shrugs - "it's four o'clock
a right enough time for zombies to walk"

"see, see how satan protects his own
his imps guard the road where his favorite has flown
the fire-tongued boy and the shapeless crone
play on drums of snake and trumpets of dragon bone

let's go then,' mungo's lips are pursed
his eyes are darker than a thunder-filled hearse
"defeat is terrible but this is worse
ah - let me turn back, for one last curse!"

his foot, when he turns, doesn't ht the firm sand
out of the ooze twists a long-taloned hand
and seizes his ankle like an iron band
he struggles and screams but firm he must stand

"oh demon, release me." cries the piteous wight
raising hands to heaven in terrible fright
"release me, release me, i will never more fight
against your glorious master, the emperor of night

oh, release me, release me and all of my days
i'll devote to chanting the horned one's praise
to serve him forever i'll search out new ways-
let me look just once more on the sun's rising rays!"

suddenly, softly, the hand lets him go
trembling and gasping he staggers back slow
and shaking his head exclaims, "what do you know
these demons are fools - i always said so"

"yes," says the sheriff, "no doubt that is true
tomorrow the skies will be sunny and blue
the night be forgotten, the world bright and new
but night's waiting children may not forget you"

rimbaud, part 2

2009-05-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

the deputy grunts and returns to his chair
but his gray rebel cap stands up on his hair
a cold blue flame hangs eye-level in air
hissing like a rattlesnake trapped in its lair

the flame retreats to the bars of the cell
the hobo laughs - a hyena from hell!
his lips and his eyeballs begin to swell
as he whispers hoarse "i've a tale to tell

only a tale - i've nothing to sell
it begins with the tolling of a silver bell
over a green and dew-dropped dell"
the deputy answers "i don't feel well"

"i was once a man - a humble one, true
with the high and mighty i had nothing to do
all week i read the testament new
and on sunday i read the old one too

i lectured the low and bowed to the great
i emptied my glass and cleaned my plate
and thanked the lord, both early and late
for giving me such a happy fate

i was deacon of a little church
a bluebird sang from a sunlit perch
in a purple elm beside a snowy birch
when life gave a sudden and terrible lurch"

the wolfman drones on, and on, and on
the deputy nods - he begins to yawn
the jail is a board, he is only a pawn
his eyeballs fade like the moon at dawn

the cell bars twist in the wolfman's claws
his piteous story has come to a pause
his white teeth laugh in his hairy jaws
the sleeping deputy hears applause

the sheriff shakes his head at the dogs dismay
"we'll have to come back at break of day"
mungo clears his throat to say
"i don't think that is at all the right way

this wretch has broken the laws of the town
i will not rest until i've hunted him down
what use for the mayor a martyr's crown
if his killer as escape artist makes his renown?

this is no wayward youth beguiled
on whom temptation has rarely smiled
this is the evil one's favorite child
how can we let such a one run wild?"

rimbaud, part 1

2009-05-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

throw the jaguar a nickel and the clown a dime
and ride on the river of endless time
the mayor is lying face down in the slime
so now you can never atone for your crime

the statues are shattered and the safe is unlocked
it's midnight forever on the cuckoo clock
so its out the window and down to the dock
to the twisted tree beside the humpbacked rock

"mama - mama roo - are you there?"
"don't come closer,boy - beware."
"beauregard's treasure = i've come for my share."
"the moon isn't green - so you haven't a prayer."

"i've had enough of your magical words
all your talk of green moons, red frogs and white birds
the night is alive, or haven't you heard
the dogs are howling to cut me to sherds

i gambled for beauregard's money and won
i need it now because i'm on the run
i must get to natchez before the rising sun
because my tribulations have only begun

"boy - if you must be such a fool
as forget what you learned in michael's school
and the message you read in jezebel's jewel
and break both angels and demons rule

then never awake from your madman's dream
when nothing will ever be what it seem
but that pitiful rays of hope may gleam
i leave you this token of magic esteem"

raindrops riffle on a snakeskin drum
and a thousand toads take up the hum
the eyes glaze over and the hands grow numb
a white light shines on the swirling scum

and the light contains an old felt hat
the crown is shapeless and the brim is flat
gray as the fur of a mangy cat
surely you are not afraid of that?

with a trembling hand on a fluttering wrist
the hat fits as tight as a demon's fist
zombie eyes glitter and serpents twist
the sorceress gone with a final hiss

say goodbye now to mama roo
in amber bubbles in a mist of blue
her curses were empty but her lies became true
now there's nobody left but the dogs and you

the slime so dismal and the sir so foul
the demon in his armor and the monk in his cowl
the fish-dog-witch and the goddess-owl
are all set trembling by the terrible howl

there is only road - through the thick of the bog
though you can not be hidden by the thickest fog
in the tallest tree or the hollowest log
no time to be lost because here is the dog

with hide black as nothingness, eyes white as time
red claws rake the dirt at the edge of the slime
the sheriff smiles gently at his terrible whine
though the dog speak in tongues, he won't answer in rhyme

about me, part 1

2009-05-01T08:18:00.001-07:00

i was born by a river in a little shack, and just like the river i can't get back on track.
my parents were missionaries in china, or maybe in india or darkest africa,
one day lenin and trotsky came to town.
they stayed at mrs b's rooming house.

mao tse-tung was already in town and he was staying at the savoy.
we knew trouble was brewing when hombres like that were in town.

when i finished sweeping up at the mission i went for a walk.
as i approached the river i heard laughter.
someone was laughing.

by the time i came around the bend the laughter had stopped.
on the river bank a fish was flopping.
racking my brain, i could never remember seeing such a fish before.
not even in my dreams.

behind me i heard a gurgling sound.
yeti was standing there.

as i may not have mentioned, yeti was my best friend.

rain began to fall.
i pointed to the fish still flopping on the ground.
veins began to throb in yeti's forehead.
evidently he was as baffled by the fish as i was.
right then we heard the sound of oars coming through the water.

i turned and saw trotsky lenin and stalin in a rowboat.
no conversation seemed to be going on.

a i watched the water ripple out from the boat

lenin turned and waved to me
i waved back
trotsky merely nodded at me
truth be told i never liked trotsky much
lenin was much more friendly
eternity was in his gaze

stalin was my favorite
he always had a smile
almost always
conversation with him was easy
koala bears could not be more friendly

poem #10

2009-04-29T11:51:00.001-07:00

well my baby left me
and i never even knew her name
she took my dog and my money
ain't that a dog gone shame

i went to the pet store to buy my fish some food
the clerk behind the counter was frightfully rude
i saw right away he was not one of the elect
he treated me and my fish with no respect

i shot that rascal just to see him beg and crawl
out on the street i thought i heard my baby call
i heard the sirens wailing in the wind
and i threw my pistol down for i had sinned

my baby left me
and she never even knew my name
police pulled up beside me
the movie ended just the same

poem #9

2009-04-29T11:48:00.001-07:00

people are bad
everything they touch is ruined
of all creatures they are the worst
perhaps they were meant to be

let us hope not
everything may not be lost
angels wait in other dimensions
remembering other universes

eviction notices lie in the gutter
blustery winds blow them away
al smith waits on the corner
doctor feelgood is late again

eddie jones is in the hospital
violent dreams flow through his brain
everything he had is gone
revenge is all that is left

young dr kenworth enters the room
turning to nurse johnson
he says
i am going home

now doctor? she responds
glancing at poor eddie
this gentleman needs a diagnosis
he has been here since tuesday

eddie said, this could go on forever
young dr kenworth answered
that is enough for now
on the count of ten -

poem #8

2009-04-18T02:40:00.001-07:00

nobody likes me
of all people on earth none is my friend
black night is falling
on my weary head

detritus is me
you know i'm right
less is more
in time all will be forgotten

kindness is an illusion
eternity is a consolation
so where do i go from here?
my path is unclear

emptiness beckons
out of

poem #7

2009-04-13T12:20:00.001-07:00

put a twenty on little william in the eighth
he will not disappoint you
until the raindrops roll down the pay window
and the refreshment stand is closed until next spring

on the greyhound bus back to san francisco
this is what you were born for
it will never get better than this
the hot dog and chips between the sixth and seventh race

duffy was unsure of himself
he's losing it
the hiss of the wheels on the highway
the ears on the drivers head sticking out like grapefruit

tomorrow is forever
tonight you will sleep like a newspaper in a rack

slurkett #4

2009-04-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

empty the ashtrays on your way out, if you please
flo requested smiling
gus has been complaining lately about the quality of service here
have you noticed anything amiss yourself?

i do not think so
jenny responded airily, at her most beguiling
ken left a tenner on the shelf
left it for you if you had a big problem or were in despair while whiling

many lonely hours away under the elm trees
nodding like a little elf
or dreaming forever of walking the seashore on bended knees
princessly going with the slow flow

quietly flo answered by the light of the moon so brightly styling
right, jen, but you need not be so severe
so let us go
trampolingly away like a refreshing summer breeze

kicks on galaxy 66

2009-04-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

"and so these are the sort of fellows you bring me, that you expect me to defend the empire with."
"never fear, darl krogar, these specimens are only the first small testament to our regard for you - and the empire - and our determination to do everything in our power to contribute to your inevitable success. "
darl krogar nodded politely. behind him a map of the universe dotted with red and yellow pins glowed dully. the red pins - signifying disaster - outnumbered the yellow pins - signifying anything less than disaster - by twenty to one. green pins for success and blue pins for victory lay untouched in a tray below the map.
the stygian ambassador rose. "by the way, i brought a couple of young men - young men recommended by the royal family - who would like to be considered for the imperial officer corp. i will just leave them outside. no need to see me out" he turned left through the simple door of darl krogar's spartan office.
darl krogar took a nap. he always took a nap, sitting at his desk, for an hour every day. the pictures of the recruits the stygians had brought him lay open on his desk.
after a while his secretaty, miss p---------, who had been miss trans3universe and later ambassador for the empire to transuniverse 45, came in and put four red pins and one yellow one in the map.
miss p----------- jotted a note on a little pad to buy some more red pins. then she leaned over the marshal's sleeping form and picked up the photos of the stygian recruits.
pursing her full red lips, she sorted through the photos with an occasional "ah.....ha"

slurkett #3

2009-03-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

take me out to the ball game in a red bentley
unleash some crackerjack
verily let me sit and watch batting practice like a natural fan
why then i will be truly happy, i swear

exposed at the plate
yet doing his best to give the ball a resounding whack
zeke's mom in the stands sheds a tear
all because he misses the ball completely and his career is now off track

but batter goes back to the dugout evidently
caring not how to spell fear
despite having a brand new unabridged websters so intently
ecstatic not in despair with fate

forever his mom and his old pal jojo wish they had a big snack
gold shining of the moon does not appear
hey it;s too late
indeed the sixth inning slides to the seventh very gently

implementation of the vampires

2009-03-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

"on your feet, sheriff. your happy days of indolence are over."
sheriff john brown took his big boots off his desk and put them flat on the ground.
"any particular reason, if i may ask?", he drawled.
"the vampires have landed. i just got the news from the state capital."
"huh. well. pardon me for asking, jethro, but ain't you the water commissioner? what in sam hill does the water commissioner have to do with vampires?"
"i've been appointed commissioner of vampire implementation, sheriff. you can check with the governor if you don't believe me,"
"no, no, i believe you, jethro. but don't you mean commissioner of vampire immolation? seems to me we should be immolating these critters, not implementing them."
"i asked that very question myself. but they were very clear - implementation, not immolation."
"dang! what will these liberal jackasses at galactic headquarters think of next. well, do we know exactly how to implement them?"
"some handbooks are coming over the wires now. meanwhile let's get all the critters in town lined up and organized. we've got a long night ahead of us,"
just then bub johnson came busting in to the office. everyone in town liked bub.

slurkett #2

2009-03-15T02:56:00.000-07:00

lady tremayne had a big white boa constrictor
many thoughts possessed it
not in a million years would it surrender its dreams of the moon
or drink its tea in peace and serenity

power was its game
quietly thanking the zeitgeist it slowly untressed it
restful purple tranquility
seductive as yellow wallpaper or blue porcelain never possessed it

thinking on rainy mornings of being the victor
unless being too witty
viscountess tremayne never suspected that it might have tricked her
was certainly a most crying shame

except on sunny afternoons in despair the gardener rested
yet the tone of lord tremayne's nice bassoon
zero times lame
and the muskrat in the frog pond grew forever wickeder

hammer

2009-02-27T08:05:00.001-08:00

he had a hammer in his hand
so i knew
he was a carpenter

and he was a carpenter
so i knew
he was jesus

i asked him
why do you
have that hammer?

and he said
to make a nice smooth cross
with sharp angles

which will stand out
against the darkening sky
and attract the lightning

the rustler from rangoon

2009-02-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

"yes, i rode with jesse james."
the tall lean yankee stranger leaned over the rail.
a herd of about twenty oxen were swimming toward the boat.
"did you ride with billy the kid?", prudence asked.
"no. i'm afraid i never made the acquaintance of the illustrious mr bonney."
prudence looked down at the water. the oxen were drawing closer.
"do you think mr roosevelt will want to shoot them now?" , she asked.
the yankee turned and looked at the door of the stateroom. teddy roosevelt stood in it. the setting sun glinted off his monocle, and his mustache twitched in the breeze.
"i think," teddy drawled, "these beasts must belong to some honest farmers who can be converted to christianity and democracy. there will be no shooting here tonight."
the oxen came closer. the lead ox was suddenly transformed into a beautiful raven-haired mermaid. her left hand touched the side of the boat and in her right hand she lifted out of the water a translucent green pearl.

joined

2009-02-25T04:45:00.001-08:00

i was joined at the hip
with jesus
and when we walked along

people would see us and say
hey look
that guy is joined at the hip
with jesus

the most jaded
the most cynical
the deadest among them
would stop and stare

and then we passed
out of their sight
and they went
about their business

knee

2009-02-23T08:48:00.001-08:00

i hurt my knee
it really hurt
it was all i could think about

i couldn't think about
paracelsus or chairman mao or eleanor of aquitaine or dinosaurs
only about my knee
and how much it hurt

after a while
it stopped hurting
and i stopped
thinking about it

i started thinking
about other things again
and walking along

micheline

2009-02-23T08:45:00.001-08:00

in a dream
i was walking
in "san francisco"

there were no tall buildings
there were no cable cars
i couldn't see alcatraz
but it was "san francisco"

there weren't many people
nobody was singing or dancing
they were just walking
like me

i used to see jack micheline
walking along in san francisco
i never saw him singing or dancing
or shouting his poetry

he was just walking
like me
i never saw him
with another person

i saw a barber shop
behind a fruit market
and i thought
"i never knew that was there"

i lit a cigarette
but it only burned
down one side

fun, part 2

2009-02-07T06:24:00.001-08:00

ok, but let's do it a little different this time.

fun

2009-02-06T18:16:00.001-08:00

that was fun. want to do it again?

understanding/the end

2009-02-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

understanding is the key to the universe. when we begin to understand that
understanding is the key then we are on our way to understanding ourselves and
when we understand ourselves we understand all living creatures and since
everything is perceived through living creatures we understand everything.
good night and thank you.

the emperors bequest

2009-02-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

"extrapolate me"

deep waters

2009-02-04T09:14:00.001-08:00

"tell me one more time, townsend, exactly why you attempted to blow up the sultan's aqueduct."
"to expose the templars insidious plot."

the hill

2009-02-04T05:13:00.001-08:00

"hurry, harriet! we have to reach the top!"
'it's too high!"

and then what?

2009-02-03T15:58:00.001-08:00

oliver smith bought a ticket to kalamazoo.

the clock strikes eight

2009-02-03T15:22:00.001-08:00

"by the way, beamon, leave your pass with cathcart when you leave."
"but - couldn't you have told me when i arrived?"
the minister stood up.
"oh,we wanted your report first. an excellent report, by the way."

howard and imogene

2009-02-01T14:32:00.001-08:00

"howard, how are you? you remember imogene, don't you? imogene, you must remember my friend howard?"
"yes."